Showing posts with label Archives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Archives. Show all posts
Friday, January 29, 2010
Long Overdue.
DNA has graciously accepted that he will never be a world famous musician. He sells some records, does what he likes, keeps a good job and stable family life. For a long time, even until recently, the musical goal was to make good records, entertain people, maybe even make a few bucks, and have a lot of fun doing it. The goal has changed. DNA no longer cares if he makes a plug nickel from any of his music. It's still for sale, don't get DNA wrong, but starting today, the first installment of free DNA music, a CD called The Hole Truth, will be available to download for free, for ever. It collects all of DNA's first two releases, "Twin Rockets Are A Go, Baby!" and "Unnatural Selection." Over the next few weeks, or months, or really, when DNA gets to it, he will put up everything on the website for you to have.
Friday, October 24, 2008
September, 2008
In August, DNA played out once again, adding three new members to the line up. Check the blog archives for pictures and video. When DNA gets a breath, he will have to update the Collaborators of the DNA Vibrator page. This brings the total number of band members up to 8. What is that shit about? Is this Parliament-Funkadelic? DNA is also readying the final touches on the next record, which it hopes will be in the hopper by the end of September.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/01/08
Government Is Evil...And Other Shit You Already Know...
This is the second re-write of this post. The first one was very personal and talked about how our state government is directly fucking up DNA's family's lives. This, however, didn't make for very fun blog reading. So, DNA has edited out the bitter bits, and just left the FUN!
Let's see, the fun parts included the words "douchebag," "dickhead," "moron," and stuff like that. The rest of the post was a rant about how much our government is directly affecting DNA.
That was the not very fun part, and actually, was kind of petulant, petty and self-centered. DNA ended up arguing, rather boorishly, that "renovations we have planned and saved for for years are now (possibly permanently) on hold (halfway done). It means all of the hard work and time one of us put into her job may have really been for nothing, retirement-wise. It means that we have had to drastically change the way we watch our money, because we don't know if or when the axe will fall."
Waaaaahhhhh!
What a baby. Isn't the possibility that we will lose our jobs true all the time? And being forced to recognize that permanence is an illusion, isn't that really a gift?
Yes, this is true, but some gifts are not necessarily wanted. Illusions are comforting. If illusions are strong enough, they are every bit as real as reality, perhaps more so.
DNA knows this is true, and so do you. This is why people always say, after some horrible event, that, "everything felt like it wasn't really happening...." because the illusion of stability is more believable and more accepted as "real" as actual stuff that doesn't fit our point of view.
So, come this November, and every November in which DNA can vote to support the right people in office, DNA will deliver his own message about reality back to the state. It will be a reality in which almost all of the douchebag dickhead morons in Springfield are no longer employed as our state servants. Voting is not as exciting or personally fulfilling as laying somebody off in mid-job, but it will have to do.
In more super fun news, the new record will be done soon, and after about a half a dozen working titles, all more awesome than the last, DNA has settled on what would have been the title of an old DNA record, had DNA stayed together as a band years ago. The new, and hopefully last, working title of the record, is, "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Super-Double Kick-Ass!" There will probably be close to 20 songs on the new record, cuz DNA just caint stops writing the rock.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/10/08
Big Rants In My Pants...
Folks, DNA has got two pretty big rants, one is another fun post about rock idioms, and another is about politics. They are taking some time to percolate, but DNA expects that in the next few days they will bubble over.
So, check back every couple of days, and DNA will let you know when the shit is ready to go. Thanks for hanging back and slowing down with DNA after the awesome show the DNA Vibrators played in August. Hey, if you're here reading this, DNA will keep this from being a complete waste of time: go check out Nonagon's new record at CD Baby! and iTunes if you want to hear Mr. Kamikaze play drums real good.
After looking for the links to Nonagon, DNA found several other bands named Nonagon. See? That's the problem with naming your band something so obviously on the lips of the cultural elite. You guys were too cool for your own good, setting a trend that has launched all of those other Nonagons. Really, what the fuck? There are, like, at least two or three other regular geometric shapes to choose from, right? What about heptagon? Undecagon? Where's dodecahedron or any of the other Archimedean solids? Not to be found. Only Nonagon has lifted itself from among its bretheren shapes to be elevated to a position of cultural significance. The Chicago Nonagon, the first, my hombres, they have fulfilled one of DNA's most basic band name rules: Make your name be relevant even before you or anyone else knew it would be relevant. Hard to do. Way to go, guys. Also, great fucking album.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/13/08
Happy Anniversary!
Tomorrow is the 3-year anniversary of this website. By DNA's estimation, we have only reached 2 billion people so far with the message of the Vibrator. Whether DNA has reached 2 people or 2 billion people really doesn't matter. The Truth marches on, and we are just one of the bands in the parade.
It was by accident that DNA found himself giving his son, Carlito, a history of his musical endeavors. Carlito, a saxophone player in the junior high band, marched in the Murphysboro Apple Festival parade today. Later, while we were discussing how that went, DNA asked Carlito if he was thinking about starting or getting into a band. He said he really hadn't thought about it. DNA remembered when he first started a rock band. It was right around freshman year, so perhaps he was jumping the gun a little bit with Carlito.
It was about that time that DNA launched into a chronological history of bands he has been in. DNA also remembered some unpleasant details of how bands break up. Breaking up bands is about as traumatic as breaking up any long-term relationship, as anyone in a band who has experienced it knows. Examining how bands break up will be the subject of a further post.
To help illustrate for you, reader, what DNA told his son, DNA decided to create a basic family tree of the bands he has been in. Quickly, it became apparent that the DNA family tree is inbred. Or, a nicer way to say it would be interconnected. Or, since DNA lives near one of the last northern cypress swamps, a better analogy might be the way a cypress grows---sending new shoots from an original trunk, twining around each other, and essentially, being one tree with many trunks.
DNA Band Family Tree
For those of you with some time to kill, go to the blog graveyard, and look at the September 2006 and the September 2007 blogs. As DNA has written before, people ascribe too much meaning to dates---08/08/08, the end of the Mayan calendar, etc., but on the other hand, some dates, like anniversaries, have value, not because of the date, but because we measure our lives in the seasons as they pass, and it's comforting to remember again what happened a certain time a year ago. So, DNA sits here, and remembers what he thought on the first day he wrote this blog. The form was different, the tools were hard to manipulate, he didn't like the layout, and he found himself trying to establish that DNA had to be thought of as a separate entity, and in an almost schizophrenic self-reflective voice. DNA is separate, DNA does exist outside of this person who sits here, but in no different way than this person is also a cub scout leader, and a trained staff person working with students with learning disabilities. All of us are an amalgam of people who fulfill the roles they must. To paraphrase DEVO, "We're all DNA."
So this anniversary, DNA takes stock in his trade: What has DNA done for you lately? Released 4 albums, all of which have sold dozens of copies worldwide. DNA has played out twice, once in the summer of 2007, and once in August of 2008. DNA is continuing to follow the maxim to release more records than it actually plays out. Also, DNA has attempted to follow the maxim to put a Christmas song out on any record it makes.
DNA Brief Associated Bands Discography 
DNA's mission is not yet complete. Another record, which is mentioned from time to time in Spin, Rolling Stone, and on this website, will be released soon. Perhaps DNA will play out again. Let's make that the goal by next September: Two more records, and one more show.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/27/08
More Rock and Roll Idioms, or Idiots, or Both...
The first time DNA covered this subject, it was in regards to the word "shelf" which in the rock and roll vernacular, is the place your love goes when you are being mistreated by your girl/boy, depending. The phrase, "don't put my love up on no shelf," or some derivative of it, only appears in rock songs, and DNA's theory is that the rock lyricist, not one to really stretch the fabric of poetry, (DNA doesn't care what any of you think about Jim Morrison---he was a sloppy poet, but a good lyricist), anyway, the rock lyricist needed something to rhyme with "self," and was in a bind to stretch a metaphor. So, shelf became that place in which your feelings are "shelved" by someone who doesn't like you or treat you right anymore.
Enough of the recap. If you really want to read the whole thing, go here. This time around, DNA is centering in on another offending phrase only heard in rock and roll songs. The line is "Don't you mess me around," or something to that effect. The problem is the construction---"mess me around," which is really just another way of saying "mess around with me." Unfortunately, in the 1980's, Pat Benatar owned the phrase "Don't you mess around with me" and pwned everyone else who would try to use it because of her song, "Heartbreaker."
Like her or not, Pat Benatar fucking rocked this song, so much so that nobody ever messed around with her, which was unfortunate, because someone should have messed around with her before she penned "Love Is A Battlefield," or titled an album "Gravity's Rainbow," after the great post modern American novel by Thomas Pynchon. Someone should have definitely messed around with her before she did that. Pat, why did you do that? Were you the post modern American voice? You? Not David Byrne, not even Stan Ridgeway, but you?
Regardless, inventive lyric writers had to come up with some other way to say the same thing. So, cleverly, you invert word order, assume the prepositional phrase, and bingo, you got another kick ass AC/DC lyric.
The problem with this construction becomes apparent when you try to do the same thing with similar verbs....
Don't fuck around with me becomes Don't fuck me around...
Don't hang around with me becomes Don't hang me around...
Why don't you clean up around the house with me becomes Why don't you clean me up the house around...
Do you want to walk around the block with me becomes Do you want to walk me the block around...
sillier and sillier, and contrived to the point of sounding well, bad.
In other words, this bit of rock and roll vernacular is just one step away from Yoda sounding like. Would you ever say, "After school, some guys were trying to mess me around, but they chilled out when they realized I was in a band?" (Note, DNA didn't say "but they chilled out when they realized I was in band" because being in band, as opposed to being in a band, was the difference between getting swirlies from the jocks during 8th period and getting hand jobs under the table from slutty girls in the cafeteria....and that's a pretty big difference that just one little word, "a," can make. This is why language is important, even in a rock and roll song).
DNA doesn't need poetry in his rock and roll, and some silly lyrics are actually welcome. For example, Bono needs to sing some silly lyrics. The guys in Disturbed need to sing some goofy shit. But singing silly lyrics doesn't mean you have to be the lyrical equivalent of the village idiot.
The lesson? Don't mess DNA around or he'll put you up on a shelf.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/01/08
Government Is Evil...And Other Shit You Already Know...
This is the second re-write of this post. The first one was very personal and talked about how our state government is directly fucking up DNA's family's lives. This, however, didn't make for very fun blog reading. So, DNA has edited out the bitter bits, and just left the FUN!
Let's see, the fun parts included the words "douchebag," "dickhead," "moron," and stuff like that. The rest of the post was a rant about how much our government is directly affecting DNA.
That was the not very fun part, and actually, was kind of petulant, petty and self-centered. DNA ended up arguing, rather boorishly, that "renovations we have planned and saved for for years are now (possibly permanently) on hold (halfway done). It means all of the hard work and time one of us put into her job may have really been for nothing, retirement-wise. It means that we have had to drastically change the way we watch our money, because we don't know if or when the axe will fall."
Waaaaahhhhh!
What a baby. Isn't the possibility that we will lose our jobs true all the time? And being forced to recognize that permanence is an illusion, isn't that really a gift?
Yes, this is true, but some gifts are not necessarily wanted. Illusions are comforting. If illusions are strong enough, they are every bit as real as reality, perhaps more so.
DNA knows this is true, and so do you. This is why people always say, after some horrible event, that, "everything felt like it wasn't really happening...." because the illusion of stability is more believable and more accepted as "real" as actual stuff that doesn't fit our point of view.
So, come this November, and every November in which DNA can vote to support the right people in office, DNA will deliver his own message about reality back to the state. It will be a reality in which almost all of the douchebag dickhead morons in Springfield are no longer employed as our state servants. Voting is not as exciting or personally fulfilling as laying somebody off in mid-job, but it will have to do.
In more super fun news, the new record will be done soon, and after about a half a dozen working titles, all more awesome than the last, DNA has settled on what would have been the title of an old DNA record, had DNA stayed together as a band years ago. The new, and hopefully last, working title of the record, is, "Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Super-Double Kick-Ass!" There will probably be close to 20 songs on the new record, cuz DNA just caint stops writing the rock.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/10/08
Big Rants In My Pants...
Folks, DNA has got two pretty big rants, one is another fun post about rock idioms, and another is about politics. They are taking some time to percolate, but DNA expects that in the next few days they will bubble over.
So, check back every couple of days, and DNA will let you know when the shit is ready to go. Thanks for hanging back and slowing down with DNA after the awesome show the DNA Vibrators played in August. Hey, if you're here reading this, DNA will keep this from being a complete waste of time: go check out Nonagon's new record at CD Baby! and iTunes if you want to hear Mr. Kamikaze play drums real good.
After looking for the links to Nonagon, DNA found several other bands named Nonagon. See? That's the problem with naming your band something so obviously on the lips of the cultural elite. You guys were too cool for your own good, setting a trend that has launched all of those other Nonagons. Really, what the fuck? There are, like, at least two or three other regular geometric shapes to choose from, right? What about heptagon? Undecagon? Where's dodecahedron or any of the other Archimedean solids? Not to be found. Only Nonagon has lifted itself from among its bretheren shapes to be elevated to a position of cultural significance. The Chicago Nonagon, the first, my hombres, they have fulfilled one of DNA's most basic band name rules: Make your name be relevant even before you or anyone else knew it would be relevant. Hard to do. Way to go, guys. Also, great fucking album.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/13/08
Happy Anniversary!
Tomorrow is the 3-year anniversary of this website. By DNA's estimation, we have only reached 2 billion people so far with the message of the Vibrator. Whether DNA has reached 2 people or 2 billion people really doesn't matter. The Truth marches on, and we are just one of the bands in the parade.
It was by accident that DNA found himself giving his son, Carlito, a history of his musical endeavors. Carlito, a saxophone player in the junior high band, marched in the Murphysboro Apple Festival parade today. Later, while we were discussing how that went, DNA asked Carlito if he was thinking about starting or getting into a band. He said he really hadn't thought about it. DNA remembered when he first started a rock band. It was right around freshman year, so perhaps he was jumping the gun a little bit with Carlito.
It was about that time that DNA launched into a chronological history of bands he has been in. DNA also remembered some unpleasant details of how bands break up. Breaking up bands is about as traumatic as breaking up any long-term relationship, as anyone in a band who has experienced it knows. Examining how bands break up will be the subject of a further post.
To help illustrate for you, reader, what DNA told his son, DNA decided to create a basic family tree of the bands he has been in. Quickly, it became apparent that the DNA family tree is inbred. Or, a nicer way to say it would be interconnected. Or, since DNA lives near one of the last northern cypress swamps, a better analogy might be the way a cypress grows---sending new shoots from an original trunk, twining around each other, and essentially, being one tree with many trunks.
For those of you with some time to kill, go to the blog graveyard, and look at the September 2006 and the September 2007 blogs. As DNA has written before, people ascribe too much meaning to dates---08/08/08, the end of the Mayan calendar, etc., but on the other hand, some dates, like anniversaries, have value, not because of the date, but because we measure our lives in the seasons as they pass, and it's comforting to remember again what happened a certain time a year ago. So, DNA sits here, and remembers what he thought on the first day he wrote this blog. The form was different, the tools were hard to manipulate, he didn't like the layout, and he found himself trying to establish that DNA had to be thought of as a separate entity, and in an almost schizophrenic self-reflective voice. DNA is separate, DNA does exist outside of this person who sits here, but in no different way than this person is also a cub scout leader, and a trained staff person working with students with learning disabilities. All of us are an amalgam of people who fulfill the roles they must. To paraphrase DEVO, "We're all DNA."
So this anniversary, DNA takes stock in his trade: What has DNA done for you lately? Released 4 albums, all of which have sold dozens of copies worldwide. DNA has played out twice, once in the summer of 2007, and once in August of 2008. DNA is continuing to follow the maxim to release more records than it actually plays out. Also, DNA has attempted to follow the maxim to put a Christmas song out on any record it makes.
DNA's mission is not yet complete. Another record, which is mentioned from time to time in Spin, Rolling Stone, and on this website, will be released soon. Perhaps DNA will play out again. Let's make that the goal by next September: Two more records, and one more show.
Permanent Historical Record: 09/27/08
More Rock and Roll Idioms, or Idiots, or Both...
The first time DNA covered this subject, it was in regards to the word "shelf" which in the rock and roll vernacular, is the place your love goes when you are being mistreated by your girl/boy, depending. The phrase, "don't put my love up on no shelf," or some derivative of it, only appears in rock songs, and DNA's theory is that the rock lyricist, not one to really stretch the fabric of poetry, (DNA doesn't care what any of you think about Jim Morrison---he was a sloppy poet, but a good lyricist), anyway, the rock lyricist needed something to rhyme with "self," and was in a bind to stretch a metaphor. So, shelf became that place in which your feelings are "shelved" by someone who doesn't like you or treat you right anymore.
Enough of the recap. If you really want to read the whole thing, go here. This time around, DNA is centering in on another offending phrase only heard in rock and roll songs. The line is "Don't you mess me around," or something to that effect. The problem is the construction---"mess me around," which is really just another way of saying "mess around with me." Unfortunately, in the 1980's, Pat Benatar owned the phrase "Don't you mess around with me" and pwned everyone else who would try to use it because of her song, "Heartbreaker."
Like her or not, Pat Benatar fucking rocked this song, so much so that nobody ever messed around with her, which was unfortunate, because someone should have messed around with her before she penned "Love Is A Battlefield," or titled an album "Gravity's Rainbow," after the great post modern American novel by Thomas Pynchon. Someone should have definitely messed around with her before she did that. Pat, why did you do that? Were you the post modern American voice? You? Not David Byrne, not even Stan Ridgeway, but you?
Regardless, inventive lyric writers had to come up with some other way to say the same thing. So, cleverly, you invert word order, assume the prepositional phrase, and bingo, you got another kick ass AC/DC lyric.
The problem with this construction becomes apparent when you try to do the same thing with similar verbs....
Don't fuck around with me becomes Don't fuck me around...
Don't hang around with me becomes Don't hang me around...
Why don't you clean up around the house with me becomes Why don't you clean me up the house around...
Do you want to walk around the block with me becomes Do you want to walk me the block around...
sillier and sillier, and contrived to the point of sounding well, bad.
In other words, this bit of rock and roll vernacular is just one step away from Yoda sounding like. Would you ever say, "After school, some guys were trying to mess me around, but they chilled out when they realized I was in a band?" (Note, DNA didn't say "but they chilled out when they realized I was in band" because being in band, as opposed to being in a band, was the difference between getting swirlies from the jocks during 8th period and getting hand jobs under the table from slutty girls in the cafeteria....and that's a pretty big difference that just one little word, "a," can make. This is why language is important, even in a rock and roll song).
DNA doesn't need poetry in his rock and roll, and some silly lyrics are actually welcome. For example, Bono needs to sing some silly lyrics. The guys in Disturbed need to sing some goofy shit. But singing silly lyrics doesn't mean you have to be the lyrical equivalent of the village idiot.
The lesson? Don't mess DNA around or he'll put you up on a shelf.
August, 2008
By the end of July, DNA's summer therapy sessions led to an explosion of new music. The new record is shaping up to have 15 or 18 songs on it. Several of them might be good. DNA is getting really excited about playing on August 9th up at the Hangar. Expect lots of good photos and video from the event.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/01/08
School's Out...
DNA survived a brutal but worthwhile summer class schedule. He has a much better understanding and appreciation for what good teachers do to make lesson plans for their students. Think about that for a second. Every day, every minute of a school child's day is planned for by the teacher, and good ones take advantage of every second they have to get as much learned in ways that inspire their students. That is a heavy charge we give to teachers, and it is amazing that some of them actually meet this challenge or exceed it for their students. My professional hat is off to them.
In last month's blog, DNA spent some time talking about a local Carbondale girl, a person DNA has known since before she was born, Rosie, who was mauled by a dog. She very nearly died, but has survived, and is doing very well. For those interested, please check out Reach Out To Rosie.
She has continued to make great strides, and DNA hopes that you will take a moment or two from your busy life to think about Rosie.
The good folks and Thomas Publishing and the Carbondale Nightlife are also putting on a benefit concert for Rosie, at the Hangar 9 in Carbondale, IL, on Saturday, August 9th. Among the Carbondale music scene luminaries, it will be the honor of the DNA Vibrator, the Hand of God Attachment, Mac Daddy, AMICO, and Carlito, to play a few songs and express our love for Rosie and the Gordon family. We hope to see you there. DNA guarantees an unusual musical evening will be had, which will include laughing, crying, gnashing of teeth, funky dancing, children singing, computers, and maybe even robots.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/08/08
Pre-show...Jitters???
Yesterday, as DNA was practicing for the upcoming show, something happened to him which never happens. He got a funny, butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling. He thought maybe his blood sugar was low or something, but then realized, he was experiencing pre-show jitters!!!
Maybe you would expect this to happen, but DNA means it when he says this just doesn't happen to him. Then DNA started to realize why: This is the first time in nearly 25 years that he has played a show without a real live (and really good) drummer. It's a weird feeling. Who can DNA blame for fucking up the song? When the tempo gets all wonky, who will look like the drums are playing him? Will people think they are watching karaoke (to quote George Carlin: as exciting as watching old people fuck)? Will they wonder if we are lip-syncing? What if the computer fucks up? If there is a hiccup in the song cuz the processor gets bogged down? What if the sound guy never gets the mix in the monitor right, and we never hear good drum sound on stage? What if we're a beat off? (drum roll and crash for the old music joke---we're all beat offs :D ).
That has been too much shit to worry about. And, on top of that, DNA has been fighting a cold (and sore throat) for about two weeks, and will probably have to go to the doctor if it doesn't clear up. So, DNA has been babying his throat, and has been worrying way too much about how solid vocally he will be tomorrow.
So, internet confessor, DNA has spilled his guts, and let his cares spew out like eviscerated intestines on the floor. Tomorrow will be weird, there is no doubt. DNA may forget the lyrics. The computer may fuck up. DNA may lose his voice. But there is no doubt that every second will be worth it if it helps bring a few dollars more to the Gordon family.
Ah, DNA feels better now.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/11/08
The Aftermath...
DNA hates, math, particularly aftermath. Usually. In this case, though, describing what happened at the Rock Out For Rosie Benefit before, during and after is not like math at all.
On Saturday, we introduced three new members of the DNA Vibrators: Mac Daddy, AMICO, and Carlito. Carlito stole the show. DNA thinks we should vote him out of the band.
Click HERE for a video of his debut performance. But give it a moment or two to load, because it is a big file.
In the next couple of days, DNA will have some pictures to add to the blog. In the previous post, DNA discussed the pre-show jitters, the stuff about the show being little more than karaoke, but those nerves faded as H.O.G., DNA and Carlito loaded our gear up to the Hangar. Even though we were there early, there were already a lot of people there. Families. Those of you who know the Hangar, and spent many hours getting looped in those dark confines, think about kids romping through the place like it was a dank-smelling Chuck E. Cheese. It was a little surreal. There were dozens of raffle items, dozens of silent auction and live auction items, there was a web station set up to take credit card donations for Rosie, there was food from Hunan. It was, in a word, terrific.
We showed up early so that we could soundcheck the computer set up. Despite our planning, the sound guy was uninterested/unwilling to accommodate DNA. Now, if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know DNA strongly believes you should treat your sound guy right, because he controls how much you suck, no matter how good you might actually be. So, when the sound guy patronizingly said that he had been doing this for a long time, and if the computer tracks sounded good on the computer, they'll sound good tonight, DNA accepted that although the sound guy was trying to be reassuring in a self-improtant dick kind of way, the sound guy simply didn't realize what a sound check is for. The sound check IS FOR THE MUSICIAN, not the sound guy. It is the musician who needs to know what his stuff sounds like in the club, not vice versa. Any good sound guy already knows what his stuff is capable of.
DNA was not interested in teaching this guy this valuable lesson however, generally because lessons like that are wasted on sound guys who think they know everything about sound, and because being a dick himself wouldn't make the sound check happen anyway. As a rule of thumb, if the sound guy is telling you, "Don't worry about it," what they think they are doing is reassuring you, but what they are actually doing is telling how little they are there to work for you. It so happened that this is exactly how the evening unfolded, too. For example, before we went on, and we were soundchecking the computer, the sound guy said, "So, I'll need mikes for three up front, bass, guitar, computer, and drums?" and DNA said, "No, the drums and all of the other additional tracks are on the computer. This is why I would have liked a sound check, so I could see if the levels were good. I'd like to take whatever time we need so I can hear the drums through the mains." The sound guy patted my shoulder in a way that made me wish my should was covered in poison needles. "Don't worry," he said. "I have done this before. Everything will sound great." DNA wanted to say, "I have done this before....YOU WERE BORN, ya fucking' douchebag!" while he grabbed the patronizing hand and bent it back until it cracked, but instead said, "Okay, thanks alot!" Again, why antagonize the guy who controls sound output? DNa would rather appease the little sonic Napolean rather than draw the battle lines right on the stage. If you do that, you always lose.
This incident, however, was a welcome distraction. DNA was glad to see that some things never change.
Before this happened, the first bands played, and sounded fine, and after DNA bid on a couple of items (a nice guitar donated by Mike of Mike's Music) he left and chilled out at the hotel that he and the fam booked for the night. DNA made his way back to the bar with Carlito and wifey about 10 pm, and realized that everything had moved forward very quickly, and that all of the bands were ahead of schedule. If you're in a band, you know this never happens. Now, here DNA was, ready to axe a couple of songs out of the setlist, when one of the show organizers came up and said, "Hey, everything is running early, so you guys can play more if you want," to which DNA responded, "No, we can't," and then explained that we only had so many songs sequenced.
Well H.O.G. was also nowhere to be found, because he was expecting for us to start at about 11:30, which usually means 12:00, but in this case meant 10:30. See how this aftermath works? It screws you up.
DNA was able to get in touch with H.O.G., and we were ready as the Moonbuggy Kids finished a terrific set. We took our time to set up, went through the sound guy shenanigans described above, and then were ready to go.
AMiCO was excited, and maybe a little nervous, but was A-1 on top of her game, and was ready to press the buttons on Mac Daddy, even when DNA changed he setlist at the last moment. DNA decided that the Beatles medley and "It Could Have Been Worse" were just not going to fit, regardless of what time we had to play. We started with "Plate Tectonic King," which went well, but was way too loud, onstage and out of the mains. But hey, that's what you get when you don't fucking check the computer drums in advance, but what the fuck does DNA know, right?
We prepared the crowd for the karaoke death machine party we were bringing, and even talked everybody through what would happen if the computer fucked up, which it did on our second song, "Well." Mac Daddy is great, but sometimes, it gets bogged down with too many "live" tracks to render on the fly. In the middle of the break in the song, the computer simply stopped. AMiCO was freaked out by the message "Not all of the tracks can be displayed," but kept her cool and clicked "okay" and it started right back up again. H.O.G. and DNA didn't skip a beat. We kept singing and playing, and then amazingly picked back up where the computer left off. Thank goodness it was in the break part, because that part of the song was easiest to pick back up into. This would be the only computer glitch of the night, thankfully, and it actually relieved a lot of tension now that the worst had happened.
The next song was the bomb track by Carlito. He really did steal the show. After we left the stage, a talent scout from LA who happened to be in the audience asked for his contact information, no bullshit. That was weird and cool, and frankly, we (DNA and wifey) weren't sure how to handle that. We respectfully declined at that moment, but are willing to keep our options open. If he's got that kind of talent, he'll still have it next year, y'know? He's only 12. We're thinking we need to let him live like a 12 year old. Well, a 12 year old that hangs out in bars, and rips it up on stage.
The highlights of the evening for DNA included "God Made Us Funky," which sounded really good, and "The Future Is Rosie," which was well received by the crowd, and meant a lot for DNA to sing. DNA has included the rough version of that song on the front page.
After the show, the fam chilled out, went to Denny's for the after show feast, and then made it back up to the Hangar at closing time to catch the last few songs by Jackhead, who rocked. Then, we loaded up the equipment, headed back to the hotel, and DNA and Carlito stayed up and played Marvel Ultimate Alliance.
DNA knows he is reaching the end of the line. He is getting too old for schlepping gear in and out of clubs at 2 am. But, as we were loading gear out, H.O.G. said that he was looking forward to the next time, the next time we could do some of the new stuff with Mr. Kamikaze. DNA would like to see that happen, too.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/20/08
A Banner Day...
Started the Monday after the show and lasted until the Thursday after the show. First, as DNA was walking up to work that Monday morning, some fellow was sitting at the benches in the small garden between our buildings having a smoke. As DNA walked up and acknowledged him and said, "Hello," he said, "Hey, weren't you in CRANK?" This stopped DNA up short, cuz the last time someone said that was probably when DNA was still in the band CRANK, circa 1995. "Yeah," DNA said. "Man, that was a long time ago." The fellow responded, "I remember seeing you guys play. You were good. How's Dave?" At which point, we kind of meandered about in a very nice conversation about how awesome a player Dave is.
Then, throughout the week, many folks, friends and strangers, came up and said that they either dug the show or wished they would have been there. That was cool.
Finally, the 96 hour day ended on Thursday, when the Carbondale Nightlife and the Carbondale Times both did articles which featured the DNA Vibrators. Those articles will shortly appear in the blog and be archived in the article-y part of the website.
A banner day...and a great event for Rosie Gordon.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/22/08
The Press...
DNA was going to call this blog post "the fourth estate," but that was a little too full of journalistic integrity and importance (read--'gay') for DNA. After months of relative silence, in one week, DNA gets the featured article in the local entertainment rag, the Carbondale Nightlife, for the Akkademiks' record, and gets a front page picture in the Carbondale Times, a local newspaper, for DNA participation in the "Rock Out For Rosie" benefit.
Here is the picture of the Carbondale Times' article:
And here is the text of the article.
Rosie Benefit Exceeds Expectations
(picture) Roger Pugh and the DNA Vibrators perform during �Rock Out For Rosie� on August 9 at Hangar 9.
Brandon Weisenberger, editor
Life has been a bit surreal the past few weeks for Kendra Kennedy-Gordon and her family.
After her 4-year old daughter, Rosie, suffered severe facial wounds in a dog attack earlier this summer, their world was turned upside down.
The Gordons spent a month in a St. Louis children�s hospital while more than a dozen doctors cared for the injured girl. Then back at their Murphysboro home, the family entered what Kennedy-Gordon called �relative isolation� as the aided Rosie�s recovery.
But, little known to the Gordons, an entire community followed Rosie�s story throughout the summer and reached out to help. Over the weekend, the Murphysboro family finally came face to face with those who cared.
Hangar 9 was the site of the all-day Rock Out For Rosie benefit concert that attracted hundreds of people on August 9. City officials, business leaders, old friends of the Gordons and scores of others flocked to the bar for the event. Organizers said the attendance exceeded expectations.
Hunan Chinese Restaurant served a buffet and seven local music acts performed. Many businesses and individuals provided money or materials for the event (a full list of contributors is on page 4 [DNA�s note----DNA will not copy the full list of contributors, but it included almost 130 different contributors---amazing, huh?])
All proceeds from the door and from the dozens of items that were raffled and auctioned off went to Reach Out To Rosie, a trust fund set up at First Southern Bank.
"I don't think we could have expected this much support," said Kennedy-Gordon, a longtime employee of Thomas Publishing, publisher of the Carbondale Times.
She said she and her husband, Tom, were sure that close friends and family would lend a hand after Rosie's attack, but were surprised by and are forever thankful for everyone who helped out.
Supporters and donors ranged from complete strangers to old high school friends whom Kennedy-Gordon said she hadn�t talked to since 1986.
"I still don�t think I've come to grips with the enormity of the situation," she said.
A big source of comfort, Kennedy-Gordon said, came from comments left at www.reachouttorosie.org, which offers a forum for well-wishers. Entries continue to flood in to the site, which also features a blog that the family uses to provide updates.
As for Rosie, doctors have laid out a 10 year plan of reconstructive surgeries and therapy. Surgeons used flesh, a tendon and an artery from one of Rosie's arms to form a new chin, and one of the next steps is forming a bottom lip. Speech therapy sessions are also underway.
Other than the long docket of upcoming operations, Rosie is full of spirit and hasn't let the accident slow her down.
"She is just as wild and rambunctious as she was before the accident," Kennedy-Gordon said.
Along with attracting the support of a community, Rosie's incident spurred the city council to revisit its dog ordinance. Discussion has included muzzling requirements and allowing the city attorney to pursue charges against owners of dogs that are deemed vicious and attack a human.
At four years old, Rosie isn't quite aware of all that has gone on in her name, but Kennedy-Gordon said her daughter knows that people are doing good things for her family.
She said, "Rosie keeps saying, 'I love this town.'"�
Then, in the back to school issue of the Carbondale Nightlife, this, if DNA may say so humbly and sheepishly, wonderfully articulate and glowing article gave some terrific coverage to The Akkademiks. Here is a picture of the article, followed by the text of the article. Again, this fellow Roger Pugh is mentioned all over the place. DNA thinks this punk must be some kind of sycophantic loser, to glom on to DNA's well-deserved press. If DNA sees this know it all in a dark alley, he's gonna wait until the coast is clear, and then hope a lot that something really bad will happen to him.
And here is the text of the article.
Vibrators and Rocks
The Music of Roger Pugh
(pictured: Roger Pugh----whoever the hell that is)
By T.J. Jones
Roger Pugh has been a part of the Carbondale music scene since the late 1980�s. Aside from being a part of a slew of bands including CRANK, the Nightsoil Coolies, and Monster Truck, Pugh�s new-wave influenced DNA Vibrators have quietly been making some of the charmingly odd psych-pop music around.
Most recently, Pugh's band has released a side-project album entitled "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" The album is a fun romp that not only aims high at entertaining but is also useful to educate listeners about geology. With titles like "Sweet Geology," "Rock Cycle," and "Plate Tectonic King," the Akkademiks muse Schoolhouse Rock-like charm and catchiness to make an album that, like Pugh's work with the DNA Vibrators, is both humorous and seriously good. Students taking geology classes at SIU should consider buying the disc as a study aid.
Pugh also just released "Libertini," a set of recently unearthed live tracks by his first band, the beloved Nightsoil Coolies.
Nightlife recently caught up with Pugh, right before he performed at the Rock Out For Rosie benefit concert at the hangar 9 on Saturday, August 9.
NL: What can you tell us about your side project, the Akkademiks?
Pugh: The Akkademiks was born from that same burst of creativity that restarted the DNA Vibrators. In my real job at the Achieve Program at SIU, I work to provide academic support for students with learning disabilities. I thought that creating a Schoolhouse Rock series of albums for college level courses was a great idea, because music engages memory in different ways than visual/reading/textual sources do. Because I have tutored the introductory geology course at the university for many years, I felt comfortable enough with the curriculum to start with that class. I also thought that if I could write an album of songs about that, then I could write an album of songs for about any topic. So, while I had fun and personal creative release in the DNA Vibrators, I used my experience with those records to craft the Akkademiks record "The Akkademiks....ROCK!"
In October of 2007, I released the record to little local fanfare, but through my distributor have enjoyed some success with it. And yes, we will perform some songs off of the Akkademiks record for the show on August 9. We will also debut some new material which will be on an upcoming DNA [Vibrators] record.
NL: There seems to be a great amount of humor in your work, whether it be with the DNA Vibrators or the Akkademiks. Why is that? Is music meant to be funny? Do other artists and performers take themselves too seriously? Take a song like "Climate Change," from "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" It's a very serious subject, yet the song, like the rest of the CD, is quite fun to listen to. Why is that?
Pugh: When I played in CRANK, we were angry, we were misunderstood, we were like every other heavy alternative band. I'm not trying to diminish what we did or what others do, but it's easy to be angry in a rock and roll song. Rock and roll was created by artists to sing songs about sex and drugs and other wonderful behavior from the socially maladjusted. But rock music isn't just about shouting until you're hoarse, throwing up the devil horns and blasting out tri-tones all night long. [ahhh, those were the days]
It is also about being silly, about enjoying yourself, about love, about loss. Music is meant to be about interpreting your world, and interpreting yourself to the world. Even though a lot of my songs are kind of goofy, I'm really serious about what I do. I want you to dig the groove I'm putting down, I want you to move your feet, but I also would like you to listen to the lyric and maybe smile once in awhile. We have to be able to laugh at ourselves, or at least smirk snidely at each other out of the corners of our mouths.
Especially for the Akkademiks' record, I needed to craft good songs first, and then write lyrics that served the educational purpose, and then, if I could hook a little humor into the mix, why not?
NL: What can someone expect to discover when they hear "The Akkademiks....ROCK!?" Do you think people interested or studying geology will find it more interesting or fun than someone who is just looking to hear some good music?
Pugh: Well, I had the chance to try some different instrumentation and some different musical styles with the Akkademiks. In fact, part of the experiment was to try to make each song come from a different branch of the rock and roll tree. Most of the record doesn�t stray too far from the boundaries of alternative rock, but I did stretch my wings when I could. There's a funk horn section and three-part Pips-style harmony on the song, "Poppa's earthquake" and a nasty distorted bass line and solo on the song, "Rock Cycle," for example.
I hope people hear some good music, and if they know me, some things that they might not have expected me to do. I hope that the educational purpose is achieved as well. That's not so strange, when you think about it----all music is instructional, in some way, whether it's teaching a social more, or how to break it. This record was just a little more obvious and direct in its message and its audience. If you're taking Geology 111 this fall, buy the record, and learn some stuff about rocks.
NL: You have a slew of music out there. Exactly how many CD�s/albums have your released and how can people who are interested find them?
Pugh: "The Shape Of Things To Have Come And Gone," "The Result Of Continuous Exposure To Radiation," and "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" are all available for sale as physical product or digital download at CDBaby.com, on iTunes, and dozens of others of the most popular music download sites----Napster, Rhapsody, Snocap, et cetera. If you look for my stuff on iTunes, search for either the DNA Vibrators or for the Akkademiks. You can link to these records, and listen to songs from previous bands in which I played (most of the old stuff is free to download) from my website, http://www.the-dna-vibrator.com, or go to the ubiquitous MySpace and type in http://www.myspace.com/TheDNAVibrators.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/01/08
School's Out...
DNA survived a brutal but worthwhile summer class schedule. He has a much better understanding and appreciation for what good teachers do to make lesson plans for their students. Think about that for a second. Every day, every minute of a school child's day is planned for by the teacher, and good ones take advantage of every second they have to get as much learned in ways that inspire their students. That is a heavy charge we give to teachers, and it is amazing that some of them actually meet this challenge or exceed it for their students. My professional hat is off to them.
In last month's blog, DNA spent some time talking about a local Carbondale girl, a person DNA has known since before she was born, Rosie, who was mauled by a dog. She very nearly died, but has survived, and is doing very well. For those interested, please check out Reach Out To Rosie.
She has continued to make great strides, and DNA hopes that you will take a moment or two from your busy life to think about Rosie.
The good folks and Thomas Publishing and the Carbondale Nightlife are also putting on a benefit concert for Rosie, at the Hangar 9 in Carbondale, IL, on Saturday, August 9th. Among the Carbondale music scene luminaries, it will be the honor of the DNA Vibrator, the Hand of God Attachment, Mac Daddy, AMICO, and Carlito, to play a few songs and express our love for Rosie and the Gordon family. We hope to see you there. DNA guarantees an unusual musical evening will be had, which will include laughing, crying, gnashing of teeth, funky dancing, children singing, computers, and maybe even robots.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/08/08
Pre-show...Jitters???
Yesterday, as DNA was practicing for the upcoming show, something happened to him which never happens. He got a funny, butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling. He thought maybe his blood sugar was low or something, but then realized, he was experiencing pre-show jitters!!!
Maybe you would expect this to happen, but DNA means it when he says this just doesn't happen to him. Then DNA started to realize why: This is the first time in nearly 25 years that he has played a show without a real live (and really good) drummer. It's a weird feeling. Who can DNA blame for fucking up the song? When the tempo gets all wonky, who will look like the drums are playing him? Will people think they are watching karaoke (to quote George Carlin: as exciting as watching old people fuck)? Will they wonder if we are lip-syncing? What if the computer fucks up? If there is a hiccup in the song cuz the processor gets bogged down? What if the sound guy never gets the mix in the monitor right, and we never hear good drum sound on stage? What if we're a beat off? (drum roll and crash for the old music joke---we're all beat offs :D ).
That has been too much shit to worry about. And, on top of that, DNA has been fighting a cold (and sore throat) for about two weeks, and will probably have to go to the doctor if it doesn't clear up. So, DNA has been babying his throat, and has been worrying way too much about how solid vocally he will be tomorrow.
So, internet confessor, DNA has spilled his guts, and let his cares spew out like eviscerated intestines on the floor. Tomorrow will be weird, there is no doubt. DNA may forget the lyrics. The computer may fuck up. DNA may lose his voice. But there is no doubt that every second will be worth it if it helps bring a few dollars more to the Gordon family.
Ah, DNA feels better now.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/11/08
The Aftermath...
DNA hates, math, particularly aftermath. Usually. In this case, though, describing what happened at the Rock Out For Rosie Benefit before, during and after is not like math at all.
On Saturday, we introduced three new members of the DNA Vibrators: Mac Daddy, AMICO, and Carlito. Carlito stole the show. DNA thinks we should vote him out of the band.
Click HERE for a video of his debut performance. But give it a moment or two to load, because it is a big file.
In the next couple of days, DNA will have some pictures to add to the blog. In the previous post, DNA discussed the pre-show jitters, the stuff about the show being little more than karaoke, but those nerves faded as H.O.G., DNA and Carlito loaded our gear up to the Hangar. Even though we were there early, there were already a lot of people there. Families. Those of you who know the Hangar, and spent many hours getting looped in those dark confines, think about kids romping through the place like it was a dank-smelling Chuck E. Cheese. It was a little surreal. There were dozens of raffle items, dozens of silent auction and live auction items, there was a web station set up to take credit card donations for Rosie, there was food from Hunan. It was, in a word, terrific.
We showed up early so that we could soundcheck the computer set up. Despite our planning, the sound guy was uninterested/unwilling to accommodate DNA. Now, if you have read this blog for any length of time, you know DNA strongly believes you should treat your sound guy right, because he controls how much you suck, no matter how good you might actually be. So, when the sound guy patronizingly said that he had been doing this for a long time, and if the computer tracks sounded good on the computer, they'll sound good tonight, DNA accepted that although the sound guy was trying to be reassuring in a self-improtant dick kind of way, the sound guy simply didn't realize what a sound check is for. The sound check IS FOR THE MUSICIAN, not the sound guy. It is the musician who needs to know what his stuff sounds like in the club, not vice versa. Any good sound guy already knows what his stuff is capable of.
DNA was not interested in teaching this guy this valuable lesson however, generally because lessons like that are wasted on sound guys who think they know everything about sound, and because being a dick himself wouldn't make the sound check happen anyway. As a rule of thumb, if the sound guy is telling you, "Don't worry about it," what they think they are doing is reassuring you, but what they are actually doing is telling how little they are there to work for you. It so happened that this is exactly how the evening unfolded, too. For example, before we went on, and we were soundchecking the computer, the sound guy said, "So, I'll need mikes for three up front, bass, guitar, computer, and drums?" and DNA said, "No, the drums and all of the other additional tracks are on the computer. This is why I would have liked a sound check, so I could see if the levels were good. I'd like to take whatever time we need so I can hear the drums through the mains." The sound guy patted my shoulder in a way that made me wish my should was covered in poison needles. "Don't worry," he said. "I have done this before. Everything will sound great." DNA wanted to say, "I have done this before....YOU WERE BORN, ya fucking' douchebag!" while he grabbed the patronizing hand and bent it back until it cracked, but instead said, "Okay, thanks alot!" Again, why antagonize the guy who controls sound output? DNa would rather appease the little sonic Napolean rather than draw the battle lines right on the stage. If you do that, you always lose.
This incident, however, was a welcome distraction. DNA was glad to see that some things never change.
Before this happened, the first bands played, and sounded fine, and after DNA bid on a couple of items (a nice guitar donated by Mike of Mike's Music) he left and chilled out at the hotel that he and the fam booked for the night. DNA made his way back to the bar with Carlito and wifey about 10 pm, and realized that everything had moved forward very quickly, and that all of the bands were ahead of schedule. If you're in a band, you know this never happens. Now, here DNA was, ready to axe a couple of songs out of the setlist, when one of the show organizers came up and said, "Hey, everything is running early, so you guys can play more if you want," to which DNA responded, "No, we can't," and then explained that we only had so many songs sequenced.
Well H.O.G. was also nowhere to be found, because he was expecting for us to start at about 11:30, which usually means 12:00, but in this case meant 10:30. See how this aftermath works? It screws you up.
DNA was able to get in touch with H.O.G., and we were ready as the Moonbuggy Kids finished a terrific set. We took our time to set up, went through the sound guy shenanigans described above, and then were ready to go.
AMiCO was excited, and maybe a little nervous, but was A-1 on top of her game, and was ready to press the buttons on Mac Daddy, even when DNA changed he setlist at the last moment. DNA decided that the Beatles medley and "It Could Have Been Worse" were just not going to fit, regardless of what time we had to play. We started with "Plate Tectonic King," which went well, but was way too loud, onstage and out of the mains. But hey, that's what you get when you don't fucking check the computer drums in advance, but what the fuck does DNA know, right?
We prepared the crowd for the karaoke death machine party we were bringing, and even talked everybody through what would happen if the computer fucked up, which it did on our second song, "Well." Mac Daddy is great, but sometimes, it gets bogged down with too many "live" tracks to render on the fly. In the middle of the break in the song, the computer simply stopped. AMiCO was freaked out by the message "Not all of the tracks can be displayed," but kept her cool and clicked "okay" and it started right back up again. H.O.G. and DNA didn't skip a beat. We kept singing and playing, and then amazingly picked back up where the computer left off. Thank goodness it was in the break part, because that part of the song was easiest to pick back up into. This would be the only computer glitch of the night, thankfully, and it actually relieved a lot of tension now that the worst had happened.
The next song was the bomb track by Carlito. He really did steal the show. After we left the stage, a talent scout from LA who happened to be in the audience asked for his contact information, no bullshit. That was weird and cool, and frankly, we (DNA and wifey) weren't sure how to handle that. We respectfully declined at that moment, but are willing to keep our options open. If he's got that kind of talent, he'll still have it next year, y'know? He's only 12. We're thinking we need to let him live like a 12 year old. Well, a 12 year old that hangs out in bars, and rips it up on stage.
The highlights of the evening for DNA included "God Made Us Funky," which sounded really good, and "The Future Is Rosie," which was well received by the crowd, and meant a lot for DNA to sing. DNA has included the rough version of that song on the front page.
After the show, the fam chilled out, went to Denny's for the after show feast, and then made it back up to the Hangar at closing time to catch the last few songs by Jackhead, who rocked. Then, we loaded up the equipment, headed back to the hotel, and DNA and Carlito stayed up and played Marvel Ultimate Alliance.
DNA knows he is reaching the end of the line. He is getting too old for schlepping gear in and out of clubs at 2 am. But, as we were loading gear out, H.O.G. said that he was looking forward to the next time, the next time we could do some of the new stuff with Mr. Kamikaze. DNA would like to see that happen, too.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/20/08
A Banner Day...
Started the Monday after the show and lasted until the Thursday after the show. First, as DNA was walking up to work that Monday morning, some fellow was sitting at the benches in the small garden between our buildings having a smoke. As DNA walked up and acknowledged him and said, "Hello," he said, "Hey, weren't you in CRANK?" This stopped DNA up short, cuz the last time someone said that was probably when DNA was still in the band CRANK, circa 1995. "Yeah," DNA said. "Man, that was a long time ago." The fellow responded, "I remember seeing you guys play. You were good. How's Dave?" At which point, we kind of meandered about in a very nice conversation about how awesome a player Dave is.
Then, throughout the week, many folks, friends and strangers, came up and said that they either dug the show or wished they would have been there. That was cool.
Finally, the 96 hour day ended on Thursday, when the Carbondale Nightlife and the Carbondale Times both did articles which featured the DNA Vibrators. Those articles will shortly appear in the blog and be archived in the article-y part of the website.
A banner day...and a great event for Rosie Gordon.
Permanent Historical Record: 08/22/08
The Press...
DNA was going to call this blog post "the fourth estate," but that was a little too full of journalistic integrity and importance (read--'gay') for DNA. After months of relative silence, in one week, DNA gets the featured article in the local entertainment rag, the Carbondale Nightlife, for the Akkademiks' record, and gets a front page picture in the Carbondale Times, a local newspaper, for DNA participation in the "Rock Out For Rosie" benefit.
Here is the picture of the Carbondale Times' article:
And here is the text of the article.
Rosie Benefit Exceeds Expectations
(picture) Roger Pugh and the DNA Vibrators perform during �Rock Out For Rosie� on August 9 at Hangar 9.
Brandon Weisenberger, editor
Life has been a bit surreal the past few weeks for Kendra Kennedy-Gordon and her family.
After her 4-year old daughter, Rosie, suffered severe facial wounds in a dog attack earlier this summer, their world was turned upside down.
The Gordons spent a month in a St. Louis children�s hospital while more than a dozen doctors cared for the injured girl. Then back at their Murphysboro home, the family entered what Kennedy-Gordon called �relative isolation� as the aided Rosie�s recovery.
But, little known to the Gordons, an entire community followed Rosie�s story throughout the summer and reached out to help. Over the weekend, the Murphysboro family finally came face to face with those who cared.
Hangar 9 was the site of the all-day Rock Out For Rosie benefit concert that attracted hundreds of people on August 9. City officials, business leaders, old friends of the Gordons and scores of others flocked to the bar for the event. Organizers said the attendance exceeded expectations.
Hunan Chinese Restaurant served a buffet and seven local music acts performed. Many businesses and individuals provided money or materials for the event (a full list of contributors is on page 4 [DNA�s note----DNA will not copy the full list of contributors, but it included almost 130 different contributors---amazing, huh?])
All proceeds from the door and from the dozens of items that were raffled and auctioned off went to Reach Out To Rosie, a trust fund set up at First Southern Bank.
"I don't think we could have expected this much support," said Kennedy-Gordon, a longtime employee of Thomas Publishing, publisher of the Carbondale Times.
She said she and her husband, Tom, were sure that close friends and family would lend a hand after Rosie's attack, but were surprised by and are forever thankful for everyone who helped out.
Supporters and donors ranged from complete strangers to old high school friends whom Kennedy-Gordon said she hadn�t talked to since 1986.
"I still don�t think I've come to grips with the enormity of the situation," she said.
A big source of comfort, Kennedy-Gordon said, came from comments left at www.reachouttorosie.org, which offers a forum for well-wishers. Entries continue to flood in to the site, which also features a blog that the family uses to provide updates.
As for Rosie, doctors have laid out a 10 year plan of reconstructive surgeries and therapy. Surgeons used flesh, a tendon and an artery from one of Rosie's arms to form a new chin, and one of the next steps is forming a bottom lip. Speech therapy sessions are also underway.
Other than the long docket of upcoming operations, Rosie is full of spirit and hasn't let the accident slow her down.
"She is just as wild and rambunctious as she was before the accident," Kennedy-Gordon said.
Along with attracting the support of a community, Rosie's incident spurred the city council to revisit its dog ordinance. Discussion has included muzzling requirements and allowing the city attorney to pursue charges against owners of dogs that are deemed vicious and attack a human.
At four years old, Rosie isn't quite aware of all that has gone on in her name, but Kennedy-Gordon said her daughter knows that people are doing good things for her family.
She said, "Rosie keeps saying, 'I love this town.'"�
Then, in the back to school issue of the Carbondale Nightlife, this, if DNA may say so humbly and sheepishly, wonderfully articulate and glowing article gave some terrific coverage to The Akkademiks. Here is a picture of the article, followed by the text of the article. Again, this fellow Roger Pugh is mentioned all over the place. DNA thinks this punk must be some kind of sycophantic loser, to glom on to DNA's well-deserved press. If DNA sees this know it all in a dark alley, he's gonna wait until the coast is clear, and then hope a lot that something really bad will happen to him.
And here is the text of the article.
Vibrators and Rocks
The Music of Roger Pugh
(pictured: Roger Pugh----whoever the hell that is)
By T.J. Jones
Roger Pugh has been a part of the Carbondale music scene since the late 1980�s. Aside from being a part of a slew of bands including CRANK, the Nightsoil Coolies, and Monster Truck, Pugh�s new-wave influenced DNA Vibrators have quietly been making some of the charmingly odd psych-pop music around.
Most recently, Pugh's band has released a side-project album entitled "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" The album is a fun romp that not only aims high at entertaining but is also useful to educate listeners about geology. With titles like "Sweet Geology," "Rock Cycle," and "Plate Tectonic King," the Akkademiks muse Schoolhouse Rock-like charm and catchiness to make an album that, like Pugh's work with the DNA Vibrators, is both humorous and seriously good. Students taking geology classes at SIU should consider buying the disc as a study aid.
Pugh also just released "Libertini," a set of recently unearthed live tracks by his first band, the beloved Nightsoil Coolies.
Nightlife recently caught up with Pugh, right before he performed at the Rock Out For Rosie benefit concert at the hangar 9 on Saturday, August 9.
NL: What can you tell us about your side project, the Akkademiks?
Pugh: The Akkademiks was born from that same burst of creativity that restarted the DNA Vibrators. In my real job at the Achieve Program at SIU, I work to provide academic support for students with learning disabilities. I thought that creating a Schoolhouse Rock series of albums for college level courses was a great idea, because music engages memory in different ways than visual/reading/textual sources do. Because I have tutored the introductory geology course at the university for many years, I felt comfortable enough with the curriculum to start with that class. I also thought that if I could write an album of songs about that, then I could write an album of songs for about any topic. So, while I had fun and personal creative release in the DNA Vibrators, I used my experience with those records to craft the Akkademiks record "The Akkademiks....ROCK!"
In October of 2007, I released the record to little local fanfare, but through my distributor have enjoyed some success with it. And yes, we will perform some songs off of the Akkademiks record for the show on August 9. We will also debut some new material which will be on an upcoming DNA [Vibrators] record.
NL: There seems to be a great amount of humor in your work, whether it be with the DNA Vibrators or the Akkademiks. Why is that? Is music meant to be funny? Do other artists and performers take themselves too seriously? Take a song like "Climate Change," from "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" It's a very serious subject, yet the song, like the rest of the CD, is quite fun to listen to. Why is that?
Pugh: When I played in CRANK, we were angry, we were misunderstood, we were like every other heavy alternative band. I'm not trying to diminish what we did or what others do, but it's easy to be angry in a rock and roll song. Rock and roll was created by artists to sing songs about sex and drugs and other wonderful behavior from the socially maladjusted. But rock music isn't just about shouting until you're hoarse, throwing up the devil horns and blasting out tri-tones all night long. [ahhh, those were the days]
It is also about being silly, about enjoying yourself, about love, about loss. Music is meant to be about interpreting your world, and interpreting yourself to the world. Even though a lot of my songs are kind of goofy, I'm really serious about what I do. I want you to dig the groove I'm putting down, I want you to move your feet, but I also would like you to listen to the lyric and maybe smile once in awhile. We have to be able to laugh at ourselves, or at least smirk snidely at each other out of the corners of our mouths.
Especially for the Akkademiks' record, I needed to craft good songs first, and then write lyrics that served the educational purpose, and then, if I could hook a little humor into the mix, why not?
NL: What can someone expect to discover when they hear "The Akkademiks....ROCK!?" Do you think people interested or studying geology will find it more interesting or fun than someone who is just looking to hear some good music?
Pugh: Well, I had the chance to try some different instrumentation and some different musical styles with the Akkademiks. In fact, part of the experiment was to try to make each song come from a different branch of the rock and roll tree. Most of the record doesn�t stray too far from the boundaries of alternative rock, but I did stretch my wings when I could. There's a funk horn section and three-part Pips-style harmony on the song, "Poppa's earthquake" and a nasty distorted bass line and solo on the song, "Rock Cycle," for example.
I hope people hear some good music, and if they know me, some things that they might not have expected me to do. I hope that the educational purpose is achieved as well. That's not so strange, when you think about it----all music is instructional, in some way, whether it's teaching a social more, or how to break it. This record was just a little more obvious and direct in its message and its audience. If you're taking Geology 111 this fall, buy the record, and learn some stuff about rocks.
NL: You have a slew of music out there. Exactly how many CD�s/albums have your released and how can people who are interested find them?
Pugh: "The Shape Of Things To Have Come And Gone," "The Result Of Continuous Exposure To Radiation," and "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" are all available for sale as physical product or digital download at CDBaby.com, on iTunes, and dozens of others of the most popular music download sites----Napster, Rhapsody, Snocap, et cetera. If you look for my stuff on iTunes, search for either the DNA Vibrators or for the Akkademiks. You can link to these records, and listen to songs from previous bands in which I played (most of the old stuff is free to download) from my website, http://www.the-dna-vibrator.com, or go to the ubiquitous MySpace and type in http://www.myspace.com/TheDNAVibrators.
July, 2008
June is over. DNA feels like he is sleeping less and less, and spending more and more time fighting cats hand to hand, crying in his car, and talking to Jesus. Wow. That sounds pretty fucked up, now that DNA sees it in print. Perhaps professional help is required. Too bad the doctor is OUT. June saw the completion of several songs, and DNA's new record creeping to completion. Perhaps by this time next month, DNA will be singing a different tune!
Permanent Historical Record: 07/01/08
Important News!!!
In the last week or so, a local Carbondale girl, a person DNA has known since before she was born, Rosie, was mauled by a dog. She very nearly died, but has survived, and is doing very well. For those interested, please check out Reach Out To Rosie.
A recent article regarding her experience and her recovery is here.
The good folks and Thomas Publishing and the Carbondale Nightlife are also putting on a benefit concert for Rosie, at the Hangar 9 in Carbondale, IL, on Saturday, August 9th. Among the Carbondale music scene luminaries, it will be the honor of the DNA Vibrator and the Hand of God Attachment, and possibly, drum majorette, Taz, to play a few songs and express our love for Rosie and the Gordon family. We hope to see you there. DNA guarantees an unusual musical evening will be had, which will include laughing, crying, gnashing of teeth, funky dancing, children singing, computers, and maybe even robots.
Oh, DNA will probably end up with about 15 songs on the new record, one of which will be a little song for Rosie.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/09/08
Hard Work!!!
You may have noticed, that DNA is not posting as much, nor isn't nearly as funny as he used to be. Others have lamented this to DNA, but DNA says that it's all relative. When it comes to funny, when it comes to frequency, it just depends on your point of view. For example, this is the first internet. If this were the 30th or 40th internet, then you might have a basis for your argument about the incidence of funny or frequency of posts, depending on the behaviors of users of the previous internets. What if the last internet only published stories about slicing people's tongues with paper or getting poked in the eyes with razor blades? See? There is nothing funny about that, ever. What if the last internet only allowed 4 posts for your entire life (they generally were [for guys] 1. First boner story, 2. First time you touched a girl who wasn't related to you story, 3. How you could be the ruler of the universe if you just really wanted to, and 4. Is this all there is? Fuck)? Well, then, DNA has posted lifetimes worth of funny, funny, shit on the internet by those standards.
As DNA has said previously, school and work are really taking a toll on his internet time. But classes for the Ph.D. go well, and work has been hectic, but rewarding. In fact, the only aspect of DNA's life which is like a lodestone is this fucking blog....
Not really. DNA loves it too!
Although school and work have been hard, DNA has also been hard at work preparing for some songs he will play for the Rock out for Rosie benefit. He just finished a remake of "All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash" which will definitely be on the new record once H.O.G. can work his magic on it. Also, DNA wrote a song just for Rosie, called "The Future Is Rosie," and will hopefully put the finishing touches on a song called "I Got What I Got [and I'm Gonna Get It On]" as well. H.O.G. seems up for the challenge of also doing "Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC, and if we can sneak Spazz, jr. into the club, we'll do a song by the Gorillaz, too.
Like DNA said, Hard Work, but, worth it.
What if this is the 40th version of the internet and we just didn't know it?
Permanent Historical Record: 07/21/08
For the Thousands...
of you who have been checking out the blog and seeing nothing new, DNA apologizes. This little shining point of light in your otherwise obsidian void of a universe must seem like it's winking out, but it's not. Grad school is kicking DNA's ass, along with lots of other things he has complained about recently.
Tomorrow, if DNA can steal the time, he will post some of the new songs he has been working on, especially for the show on August 9th. You know, if you live in Oregon, it only takes 22 hours to drive to Carbondale. You could decide, on the morning of August 8th, that this was something that you shouldn't miss (you would be right). You could still make the show, and sleep for two hours, too! DNA is talking to YOU, Tony Stairway!
(Okay, his name isn't actually Tony Stairway, but he knows exactly who he is---how many other people have that nickname?)
So, if you live way closer than that, my Chicago friends, hop in your Corvettes or your Volvos and drive yourself down for a great time. Even if the DNA Vibrators suck, it would still be like climbing Everest on a cloudy day---shitty view, but worth the effort.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/22/08
New Stuff...
As DNA promised, here's the new song he's been working on (in case you missed it on the front page):
I Got What I Got
This is what happens when you listen to the Supersuckers a lot and you have a brother who really is like a tornado.
We will definitely be playing this song at the show on August 9th. The new DNA record will be coming out shortly after that. It will depend entirely on when the Hand Of God can come in a do some solo work. As you may have noticed on this recording, DNA's guitar solo is crap.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/01/08
Important News!!!
In the last week or so, a local Carbondale girl, a person DNA has known since before she was born, Rosie, was mauled by a dog. She very nearly died, but has survived, and is doing very well. For those interested, please check out Reach Out To Rosie.
A recent article regarding her experience and her recovery is here.
The good folks and Thomas Publishing and the Carbondale Nightlife are also putting on a benefit concert for Rosie, at the Hangar 9 in Carbondale, IL, on Saturday, August 9th. Among the Carbondale music scene luminaries, it will be the honor of the DNA Vibrator and the Hand of God Attachment, and possibly, drum majorette, Taz, to play a few songs and express our love for Rosie and the Gordon family. We hope to see you there. DNA guarantees an unusual musical evening will be had, which will include laughing, crying, gnashing of teeth, funky dancing, children singing, computers, and maybe even robots.
Oh, DNA will probably end up with about 15 songs on the new record, one of which will be a little song for Rosie.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/09/08
Hard Work!!!
You may have noticed, that DNA is not posting as much, nor isn't nearly as funny as he used to be. Others have lamented this to DNA, but DNA says that it's all relative. When it comes to funny, when it comes to frequency, it just depends on your point of view. For example, this is the first internet. If this were the 30th or 40th internet, then you might have a basis for your argument about the incidence of funny or frequency of posts, depending on the behaviors of users of the previous internets. What if the last internet only published stories about slicing people's tongues with paper or getting poked in the eyes with razor blades? See? There is nothing funny about that, ever. What if the last internet only allowed 4 posts for your entire life (they generally were [for guys] 1. First boner story, 2. First time you touched a girl who wasn't related to you story, 3. How you could be the ruler of the universe if you just really wanted to, and 4. Is this all there is? Fuck)? Well, then, DNA has posted lifetimes worth of funny, funny, shit on the internet by those standards.
As DNA has said previously, school and work are really taking a toll on his internet time. But classes for the Ph.D. go well, and work has been hectic, but rewarding. In fact, the only aspect of DNA's life which is like a lodestone is this fucking blog....
Not really. DNA loves it too!
Although school and work have been hard, DNA has also been hard at work preparing for some songs he will play for the Rock out for Rosie benefit. He just finished a remake of "All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash" which will definitely be on the new record once H.O.G. can work his magic on it. Also, DNA wrote a song just for Rosie, called "The Future Is Rosie," and will hopefully put the finishing touches on a song called "I Got What I Got [and I'm Gonna Get It On]" as well. H.O.G. seems up for the challenge of also doing "Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC, and if we can sneak Spazz, jr. into the club, we'll do a song by the Gorillaz, too.
Like DNA said, Hard Work, but, worth it.
What if this is the 40th version of the internet and we just didn't know it?
Permanent Historical Record: 07/21/08
For the Thousands...
of you who have been checking out the blog and seeing nothing new, DNA apologizes. This little shining point of light in your otherwise obsidian void of a universe must seem like it's winking out, but it's not. Grad school is kicking DNA's ass, along with lots of other things he has complained about recently.
Tomorrow, if DNA can steal the time, he will post some of the new songs he has been working on, especially for the show on August 9th. You know, if you live in Oregon, it only takes 22 hours to drive to Carbondale. You could decide, on the morning of August 8th, that this was something that you shouldn't miss (you would be right). You could still make the show, and sleep for two hours, too! DNA is talking to YOU, Tony Stairway!
(Okay, his name isn't actually Tony Stairway, but he knows exactly who he is---how many other people have that nickname?)
So, if you live way closer than that, my Chicago friends, hop in your Corvettes or your Volvos and drive yourself down for a great time. Even if the DNA Vibrators suck, it would still be like climbing Everest on a cloudy day---shitty view, but worth the effort.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/22/08
New Stuff...
As DNA promised, here's the new song he's been working on (in case you missed it on the front page):
I Got What I Got
This is what happens when you listen to the Supersuckers a lot and you have a brother who really is like a tornado.
We will definitely be playing this song at the show on August 9th. The new DNA record will be coming out shortly after that. It will depend entirely on when the Hand Of God can come in a do some solo work. As you may have noticed on this recording, DNA's guitar solo is crap.
June, 2008
May ended with DNA racking up his first "A" in a college course in over a decade. And, an incomplete, too, but he is working on that. In May, DNA worked on and finished four songs for the new record. DNA got to do some of the things he wanted in the blog, like give a garageband lesson, post new music, talk about the earthquake, DNA's choking incident, etc., but DNA did not get to do some other things he wanted. Hopefully, DNA will get to that this month.
Permanent Historical Record: 06/03/08
Coming Hard And Fast...
For weeks, DNA has not been very inspired, musically, but in the last couple of weeks, that all changed. Several songs kind of spurted out in a few spasms. The latest one is called "It Could Have Been Worse," and is presented below for your enjoyment:
It Could Have Been Worse
The next song in the que is titled, "It Got Worse," about a depressed guy who doesn't know exactly why he is down.
On another note, but related to the post title, "Coming Hard and Fast," DNA would like to announce a Happy Birthday to the Reverend. Scotty Karate is now officially old, but can still out drink, think, screw, chew, fight, and delight YOU! The Reverend came by to visit from his digs in Florida this week. It was great to see the Reverend and H.O.G. out at the H.O.G's place.
For any of you Carbondale locals who read this, make sure you take the time June 13th to visit H.O.G. and his classical guitar playing compatriots at Shryock Auditorium. They will be playing some seriously fucked up and wonderful classical guitar backed by a full orchestra. That is some serious playing, and it is my understanding that most of the musicians will not drinking or on drugs during the performance. That really should be worth seeing.
Over the last month or two, DNA has had to face some hard-ass facts. Because life is coming hard and fast at H.O.G., and at Mr. Kamikaze, and also at DNA, grandiose plans of a triumphant return to the stage have been postponed. So, travel back in time with DNA, and watch the desperate cry for help of a lonely, lonely old bastard. Here's how the little drama played out, across the internets and email accounts of the band.
To: Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: The DNA Vibrator
Re: Playing a Show This Summer
Date: 3/11/2008
Hi, DN-Acolytes,
This is DNA. How are you? After playing at Schuba's, DNA would like to play again. While DNA was at Mr. Kamikaze's house in Chicago, DNA thought about doing a "Komodo Drag Queens" show, in which we play as the band "Komodo Drag Queens." The schtick is that we are straight, dressing in garish metallic green bras, skirts, garters, and heels, if possible, and play songs only from female bands, that emphasize womanly-ness, but we sing and play them like the 40 something depressed loser bastards that we are, as if we discovered a niche market that needed a band---"Hey, you know who would pay money to see us? Fat middle-aged guys who like to sing songs about women and watch guys dress badly in drag. We should so do this thing!"
That, however, would require work, make-up, costumes, and way more energy than DNA can probably muster. So, instead, DNA would like to do a show in which we play only DNA songs and DEVO songs, and engage the audience in guessing which is which. Inspired by the Hoot Night, DNA would like to do DNA versus DEVO, and play about seven or eight songs from each band, with one or two additional songs in reserve (encore). Through the show, DNA would give out prizes and trivia about DNA and about DEVO.
H.O.G. said that June was not good for him, so what would you guys think about doing a show in July? We could play up at the Hangar, or possibly at Craig and Berts, or possibly both.
DNA will not get freaky about the set list, but DNA does have one tentatively picked out.
Freedom Of Choice, Fistful of Cleveland, Just Give Me A Drink, Girl You Want , Well, Gates Of Steel, Plate Tectonic King, Blockhead, All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lot Of Cash, Jerkin' Back 'N' Forth, A Note To My Old Band, Going Under, Bad Thing, 138, Whip It, God Made Us Funky, and Uncontrollable Urge.
DNA can make the CD and send it out if you guys are interested. DNA thinks it would be a lot of fun. Get back with me when you get a minute, so DNA can start working on a venue. Mr. Kamikaze, if Nonagon wants to play, that would be great.
DNA
From: Song Engine
To: DNA, H.O.G., Mr. Kamikaze
Re: Playing A Show This Summer
> Sounds great, but it might conflict with my other drag queen band, "A Bitch of a Donna Summer " late summer tour thru the rustbelt. > Maybe we can work something out, the girls(guys) are very flexible. >ASong Engine
From: Mr. Kamikaze:
> I'm still working on my conceptual "Pat Benatar doing Men At Work" band-- Pat "Benatwork" ... so I may or may not be available. >
> I'm thinking I'll be available...
From: H.O.G.
Don't forget my 80's style hair-metal band "Chicks with Dicks". Not quite drag queen, but close enough to be virtually indistinguishable. They might be willing to open...
From: DNA
And this is why DNA loves you guys.
The other drag queen band DNA is currently fronting, "Urethra Franklin," might get pissed, no pun intended, if they don't play, too. DNA'll talk to Sally at the Hangar about a date, and if that won't work, DNA'll talk with Dave Marquis to do something at PK's.
DNA would like to have the Dammit Boys play along with. If Nonagon can play, too, that would be cool, but if they can't, DNA'll get Moon Buggy Kids, or Secondary Modern to hop on board.
DNA
To: Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: The DNA Vibrator
Re: The Summer Of Our Discontent
Date: 4/3/2008
Hey Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., and Song Engine,
How are you? This is DNA. A while ago I emailed you guys about playing before Jesus returns. I had narrowed that down to sometime this summer. After talking (emailing) with H.O.G., DNA decided he would talk to Craig and Bert about possibly playing their 4th of July party. This year, it may happen on the 4th, it may happen on the 5th. Bert needed to talk to Craig, but sounded very excited about having DNA play if we are able to swing it.
Here is the pitch to the Chicago guys: It is perhaps the best party Southern Illinois throws, and its chock full of people who still know you! It is kid/family friendly, with lots of kids/families there. There is camping out, tent style, on the large estate which is Craig and Bert's, and more of the BEST barbecue than the whole army of people who are there can possibly eat. Yes, there will be alcohol there. Yes, people will drink and be stupid. But as far as kids and safety are concerned, we took Carl last year, and he didn't blow his fingers off around the fireworks, so that is saying something. It has been busted by the cops the last few years, however. One year CRANK played. Sorry, we kind of spoiled it for everybody. Last year, some fireworks hit a neighbor's house. Craig and Bert are working on those noise and fireworks issues.
Oh yeah, the fireworks! Comparable to most southern Illinois cities' fireworks, only James Ricks is the guy setting them off.
Can I get a hell yeah from everybody if Craig and Bert are cool with us playing?
DNA
From: H.O.G.
HELL YEAH !! Since I'll be there anyway, that is efficient use of time!
As far as noise issues, we could play quieter than Crank if need be. I'd actually recommend it. And that was really my fault anyway, cuz I asked Craig if I was too loud. He (paraphrasing) told me to turn it up as loud as I wanted. I did.
So anyway, this morning I was standing in the closet pulling out clothes, and noticed that my Tinnitus is becoming more pronounced. There you have it - I just admitted I'm getting old and whiny (as opposed to just whiny). Hearing is a good thing, mostly.
Yes, the party IS kid friendly - if the kids are freaks like their parents. No really, its cool.
HOG
From: Song Engine
Hell Yeah- for the Song Engine, maybe the family could tow along. More on that later. Let me know what music to work on-and other details
Song Engine
To: Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: DNA
Re: DISCONTENT!!!
Well, guys, DNA wishes he could respond back with songs lists, etc., but SOMEBODY apparently is too busy with WORK or his LIFE or his FAMILY to join our little conversation right now.
His name rhymes with Sister Slahmikaze.
I must have made him mad the last time I was up at his house. For the last time, DNA is sorry he shit in your stairwell.
To: DNA, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: Mr. Kamikaze
Re: The Bacon Of Our Discontent...
To: H.O.G., Mr. Kamikaze, Song Engine
From: DNA
Re: The Bacon Of Out Discontent
DNA is stunned. That was the most beautiful thing DNA has seen this week. DNA is going to buy a pound of bacon and bring it home TONIGHT. And when wifey asks, "What's the bacon for?" DNA will say, "Clothes."
At least it is clear that work, life, and family have not been keeping Mr. Kamikaze away from out little conversation. DNA will note, however, that as enjoyable as seeing a bacon bra was, it was not the HELL YEAH!! DNA was hoping for.
So, Sister,
Is DNA putting too much pressure on you? Are you through working with a self-important douchebag like me? DNA could understand, if that were the case. Do you want DNA's dreams to be crushed?
Let me know,
DNA
From: H.O.G.
To: The Guys
Dude, that was cool. I'll pass that along to the BBQ team promptly.
Oh, and sorry about the "dude" thing, dude.
To: The guys
From: DNA
Re: Helloo-------helloo---------echo--------------homo----------
Date: 4/10/2008
Hi guys, how are you?
Did you get DNA's Kevin Bacon message?
Nobody
emailed
DNA
back.
DNA feels lonely all the way down here in Metropolis.
Did you guys all get together and kick me out of the band?
Can DNA still be a roadie? You can use all my stuff if you want.
Well, DNA heard back from Craig and he sounds very enthused about having us play if indeed we can play. He likes the DNA versus DEVO idea. So, DNA hopes we can. But if we can't, so be it.
On other notes, Mr. Kamikaze, DNA will be in Chicago doing a presentation, and will be in town April 30th and May 1st. Can DNA stay at your house? If so, great, if not, no big deal. DNA just needs to make his plans. DNA is going to try to rent a Dodge Charger to drive up there.
H.O.G., if you have had a moment to listen to the song DNA did about Theo and Marian, DNA will be happy to stay late one evening if you can knock that shit out. It shouldn't take more than an hour.
Song Engine, Schuba's was fun. Thanks again.
Talk to you later,
DNA
To: The Guys
From: DNA
Re: The Kevin Bacon Message
DNA takes it that's a no on the Kevin Bacon message DNA sent out via email?
DNA is ambivalent towards his computer right now. If you didn't get the Kevin Bacon message from DNA, do you want it? Now it's not going to seem quite as funny, since there is all this preconception about "The Kevin Bacon Message."
DNA
From: H.O.G.
To: the Guys
Re: Kevin Bacon
Huh? I like bacon. Go ahead a spam away!
From: Song Engine
To: The guys
Re: Playing a Show This summer....
Did you hear anything else about this July 4 gig? I just saw Jared... I mean heard Jared- who would play that tripped out keyboard?
Let me know if you hear anything so I can plan.
Cheers
Song Engine
To: The Guys
From: DNA
Re: The Demise Of The DNA Vibrators Has Been Greatly Exaggerated
DNA-theists,
DNA had a disconcerting conversation with Mr. Kamikaze last week. It inspired DNA to rush to Chicago for an emergency intervention to be by his side. Mr. Kamikaze, unbeknownst to DNA, or even his friends, was apparently on his death-bed, because he told me that that he just couldn't play a show down here in July, or in the near future, or probably in the distant future, either. The intervention started at 4:13 am last Wednesday. In about the time it takes to watch the Star Wars Trilogy (the good one), DNA was right there, at 4515 N. Bacon Street. Then, DNA remembered he lived on Beacon Street (fucking Bacon-bikini!!!). So, it took a little longer than DNA expected, but DNA knew he could hold on. When DNA got to his house, stoically, heroically, he was still at work, so DNA waited around their front porch and read a good book called "This Is Your Brain On Music." Then, DNA heard the cackle of Mr. Kamikaze's suped-up Volvo wagon. DNA rushed to meet him as he came walking in through the gate in his backyard. He looked deathly pale, the life practically oozing in puddles out of the soles of his shoes...or perhaps that was just the late afternoon sun in DNA's eyes. "Mr. Kamikaze," DNA whispered, getting as close as he could without our faces touching (cuz that would be gay), "what's the problem, ya little dickhead? Why can't you?"
Mr. Kamikaze said, "Uh, hi, DNA? What the hell are you doing here?" He sounded surprisingly okay. Seeing me must have lifted his spirits.
"Is it lupis? Anabolic steroid use? Annie?" DNA asked. "Cuz DNA could talk to her. She thinks DNA is cool."
"What the fuck are you talking about, DNA? Annie doesn't think you're cool!" He was pretty animated for being on his death-bed (maybe he just on his really-tired-from-work-bed).
"C'mon, man, it's just one show. One show which could change the motherfucking planet," which DNA said in the style of his favorite one trick pony, Jack Black. DNA even packed on 30 pounds of pure fat before he left Metropolis to be more inspiring for JUST THIS MOMENT.
Mr. Kamikaze stopped trying to push DNA out of his face. "Are you here right now to get me to play that party thing?..." Incredulous hardly describes how incredulous DNA was.
"Party thing?" DNA said. "Party...thing?" You see, you understand, DNA thought he must have been on his death-bed, or his really-tired-from-work-bed, if he wasn't gung-ho to play.....
Mr. Kamikaze looked like he just watched the Pope masturbate. "You can't be fucking serious. This is why you are here? Do you think you're Jack Black or something?"
It was an honest mistake, right? Why else would he not want to play?
"Well, you didn't respond to my email, and then, well, after the 30th time DNA called, you seemed kind of annoyed, so DNA thought..." which trailed off the same way that a condom hangs out of the mouth of a drunken hooker. You know, kind of sadly.
"You know what this makes you?" Mr. Kamikaze asked.
"A pathetic, little man?"
"Yes."
And Mr. Kamikaze was right. After DNA broke down in tears, DNA realized that this intervention was for him, not Mr. Kamikaze.
So, for DNA's sake, Mr. Kamikaze can't play the show.
Actually, Mr. Kamikaze can't play the show because work, family, stress, and not having time or feeling comfortable to learn a bunch of new songs slapped him like a bitch. DNA could have folded, crumpled under that Ike-Turnerish assault, and said, "Well, then, fuck it, DNA guesses the DNA Vibrators are done." But then DNA realized, DNA has made more records without a real drummer than DNA ever did with one, anyway. Mr. Kamikaze is in the band cuz he is fun, not because he is the drummer. So, DNA asked Mr. Kamikaze if he would be pissed if DNA asked somebody else to play drums, and honestly, he looked relieved, and said, "No, I would not be pissed!"
H.O.G., do you know if Bill Lancaster is still around, or if Taz might be able to get together with us? DNA is thinking about asking my musical friends via myspace to see if any of them would be willing to play drums for us for a set. DNA is also strongly considering playing out, but using the computer, set up on a desk, to play the drums and the keys, kind of like it does, well, now. It would be complete with witty banter, all preprogrammed! Unfortunately, this would probably take a level of precision that DNA is not capable of reproducing live.
However, DNA is just as comfortable telling Craig that Mr. Kamikaze hates him and we can't play his party. DNA just wanted to let you guys know what was up. DNA doesn't want to do any of that until DNA hears back from you guys. So, guys, give me your feedback: What would you like the DNA Vibrators to do? Song Engine, DNA kind of realize that if it ain't you and Mr. Kamikaze both coming down, it's not worth the gas to get here, and DNA is okay with whatever you decide. H.O.G., you and DNA are here anyway, so my opinion for us is WTF---why not? Hell, Mr. Kamikaze, if you want to come to the party, but NOT play, that would be cool, too. Their parties ROCK, and are not to be missed.
On a separate note, H.O.G., if you can squeeze in some time to knock out the best solo of your life EVER, that would be great. Let me know a time that would work for you (preferably after regular work hours---DNA'll stay late!).
The DNA Vibrators are dead. Long live the DNA Vibrators!
From H.O.G.
To: The guys
I am apoplectic. Or is that Apostolic, apologetic, appollonian, or just appalling?
Fuck, I can't even give this a coherent response...
On with my new project, Brother of Sam.
Yes, you heard me. Yes, THAT Sam. Or his brother anyway. Who I just saw at Makanda Fest on saturday. Swaying about, looking old.
You losers don't even know what I'm talking about, do you?
Well you know what? I don't know what to say just now. I'm also quite busy (not) doing some shit I need to get done.
I'll respond more coherently when I have more time...
H.O.G.
To: The Guys
From: DNA
Re: DNA's Last weird email...
Hi folks,
DNA thinks perhaps his last email, in an attempt to be humorous, was a little weird, even for DNA.
So DNA'll summarize it for you: Mr. Kamikaze can't play in July, and is real busy.
DNA would like to know in the next few days if anybody else is interested in playing, cuz DNA ain't gonna throw a bunch of shit together at the last minute, and if we play, DNA got a lot of work to do (either arranging shit with a new drummer and possibly two guitars, or writing/recording/editing a bunch of shit on the computer). If we can't/won't play, then DNA wants to be able to tell Craig and Bert about it right away.
Talk to you later,
DNA
To: The Guys
From: H.O.G.
Re: Fucking weird email....
Yeah, my response was a little weird too, though I was definitely attempting to be humorous.
So my vote is we just bow out. It's too fucked up. I have too many other things going on.
I have a wedding to play over Memorial Day weekend. I'm not ready.
I have two (3?) concerts (like real serious performances) in the middle of June. Again, not ready.
I could go on with 1/2 dozen other things, but that is enough to freak me out.
I don't think I will be able to really enjoy the process of doing a show, and if it ain't fun...
Which is probably where Mr. Kamikaze is at, even if he could make it down.
Let's do it if/when we are ready and NEED to do it. I'm not saying you don't have needs, DNA;?}
Anyway, I'm off to rehearsal for said June concerts.
DNA, I don't know if/when I can record at this point. Let me try to get shit straight over the weekend and let you know.
I would still be willing to play (something) at ReevesFest, but I think DNA will be problematic.
Peace guys, H.O.G.
At which point, we took H.O.G.'s advice, and bowed out. See how weird shit can get when people talk to each other?
Permanent Historical Record: 06/12/08
And Then There Were Nine...
Since DNA completed
It Could Have Been Worse
it wrote two songs in quick succession: "It Got Worse," and "You Didn't Know." The first song, "It Got Worse," is the call back to the above mentioned song. The next song, "You Didn't Know," was inspired by DNA's cat, Ptolemy. He is nearing death's door, and we will probably be taking him to the vet this Saturday to be euthanized. Once you realize DNA is singing to his soon-to-be-dead cat, it makes the whole song more gay, DNA guesses (if that's possible). Screw you guys! It makes it cooler!!!
So, the new record is shaping up as follows:
There's Something On Your Back
Black Monday
The Ballad of Theo and Marian
I Saw Jared
You Call My Name
The Simple Pleasures
It Could Have Been Worse
It Got Worse
You Didn't Know
And here are the new songs:
It Got Worse
You Didn't Know
That's like, 9 songs already. You know, DNA could have spent that time doing aerobics, or learning origami.
Permanent Historical Record: 06/20/08
Music News and Myoo-SICK Revues!!!
DNA has written a couple of more songs, and is going to resurrect an old Coolies song called, "This Song (was written for my friend, Jim)." DNA has decided on at least one cover song: "Big Bad John," by none other than Jimmy Dean, more famous now for sausage than hit records. DNA would also like to fit in one more cover song. Any ideas?
Time for another Myoo-SICK Revue. This one has been a long time coming. DNA has only bought a couple of new records lately, new to him, at least. DNA is gay for the Supersuckers, so it has been buying up their stuff, and DNA is now carrying the torch for this installment's review subject: the band Polysics.
What do you need to know about Polysics? Well how about this? They're cool. They're from Japan. They've been around for over 10 years, but unless you're into import vinyl and CD's, you probably have never heard of them. Because at first glance, they look like a DEVO clone, circa 1980, even if you had heard of them, you might just pass them by, and say something like, "Fuck, I just don't get the Japanese."
DNA is here to say, "Fuck, DNA just don't get the Japanese," and that is okay. Polysics is not so much about the obsessive mimicry of Western styles that permeates Japanese culture, but about paying homage, making inspired quirky songs from the New Wave spring that still bubbles up on the side of Mt. Fuji, and also really innovating sound, and trying elements of different styles.
Far from being a DEVO clone, Polysics is a DEVO meets Man-Or-Astroman clone, and hell, aren't there hundreds of bands like that? Oh, that's right. There is one. Polysics.
In most myoo-SICK revues, DNA quotes some lyrics out of context to make bands sound really ignorant, but it is hard to do with Polysics, since most of the lyrics are in Japanese. Some are in English, DNA thinks, but in the end, it doesn't matter. The sounds of the lyrics are part of the brush Polysics uses to paint their old Korg Poly Six keyboards.
In the album DNA just purchased, called Polysics Or Die!!!! Vista, a greatest hits compilation (their second, actually) there are some songs or sounds that are a little too DEVO for their own good. It's hard to beat the boys from Akron at their own game, and unfortunately, when Polysics mines that vein a little too deeply, they sound more like a caricature than a creative force. However, on some cuts, like "I My Me Mine," they capture the guts of New Wave with very little of the glitter and black eyeliner that went with the typical synth band. The old analog synths deliver the "soul" of the biomechanical rhythm, but the fuzz and overdriven drums, frantic and frenetic vocals, and the tri-tone creepy synth texture on the top makes this little gem really shine. And, you can't get much greasier on a keyboard bassline than the song, "Kaja Kaja Goo," which must means something in Japanese and simultaneously points out how idiotic one of the more successful new wave synth bands, Kaja Goo Goo, was.
Here's a clip from YouTube:
The girl in the video isn't in the band, or so DNA has heard. She just kind of hangs out with them.
And you might as well see the rest of the story:
So, go buy the record. It's available on iTunes, or in really cool records stores. While you're at it, check out the Octopus Project, too. More fun in the same vein.
No more YouTube shit. DNA gets it. Sorry. He was stuck on the cut and paste.
Permanent Historical Record: 06/03/08
Coming Hard And Fast...
For weeks, DNA has not been very inspired, musically, but in the last couple of weeks, that all changed. Several songs kind of spurted out in a few spasms. The latest one is called "It Could Have Been Worse," and is presented below for your enjoyment:
It Could Have Been Worse
The next song in the que is titled, "It Got Worse," about a depressed guy who doesn't know exactly why he is down.
On another note, but related to the post title, "Coming Hard and Fast," DNA would like to announce a Happy Birthday to the Reverend. Scotty Karate is now officially old, but can still out drink, think, screw, chew, fight, and delight YOU! The Reverend came by to visit from his digs in Florida this week. It was great to see the Reverend and H.O.G. out at the H.O.G's place.
For any of you Carbondale locals who read this, make sure you take the time June 13th to visit H.O.G. and his classical guitar playing compatriots at Shryock Auditorium. They will be playing some seriously fucked up and wonderful classical guitar backed by a full orchestra. That is some serious playing, and it is my understanding that most of the musicians will not drinking or on drugs during the performance. That really should be worth seeing.
Over the last month or two, DNA has had to face some hard-ass facts. Because life is coming hard and fast at H.O.G., and at Mr. Kamikaze, and also at DNA, grandiose plans of a triumphant return to the stage have been postponed. So, travel back in time with DNA, and watch the desperate cry for help of a lonely, lonely old bastard. Here's how the little drama played out, across the internets and email accounts of the band.
To: Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: The DNA Vibrator
Re: Playing a Show This Summer
Date: 3/11/2008
Hi, DN-Acolytes,
This is DNA. How are you? After playing at Schuba's, DNA would like to play again. While DNA was at Mr. Kamikaze's house in Chicago, DNA thought about doing a "Komodo Drag Queens" show, in which we play as the band "Komodo Drag Queens." The schtick is that we are straight, dressing in garish metallic green bras, skirts, garters, and heels, if possible, and play songs only from female bands, that emphasize womanly-ness, but we sing and play them like the 40 something depressed loser bastards that we are, as if we discovered a niche market that needed a band---"Hey, you know who would pay money to see us? Fat middle-aged guys who like to sing songs about women and watch guys dress badly in drag. We should so do this thing!"
That, however, would require work, make-up, costumes, and way more energy than DNA can probably muster. So, instead, DNA would like to do a show in which we play only DNA songs and DEVO songs, and engage the audience in guessing which is which. Inspired by the Hoot Night, DNA would like to do DNA versus DEVO, and play about seven or eight songs from each band, with one or two additional songs in reserve (encore). Through the show, DNA would give out prizes and trivia about DNA and about DEVO.
H.O.G. said that June was not good for him, so what would you guys think about doing a show in July? We could play up at the Hangar, or possibly at Craig and Berts, or possibly both.
DNA will not get freaky about the set list, but DNA does have one tentatively picked out.
Freedom Of Choice, Fistful of Cleveland, Just Give Me A Drink, Girl You Want , Well, Gates Of Steel, Plate Tectonic King, Blockhead, All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lot Of Cash, Jerkin' Back 'N' Forth, A Note To My Old Band, Going Under, Bad Thing, 138, Whip It, God Made Us Funky, and Uncontrollable Urge.
DNA can make the CD and send it out if you guys are interested. DNA thinks it would be a lot of fun. Get back with me when you get a minute, so DNA can start working on a venue. Mr. Kamikaze, if Nonagon wants to play, that would be great.
DNA
From: Song Engine
To: DNA, H.O.G., Mr. Kamikaze
Re: Playing A Show This Summer
> Sounds great, but it might conflict with my other drag queen band, "A Bitch of a Donna Summer " late summer tour thru the rustbelt. > Maybe we can work something out, the girls(guys) are very flexible. >ASong Engine
From: Mr. Kamikaze:
> I'm still working on my conceptual "Pat Benatar doing Men At Work" band-- Pat "Benatwork" ... so I may or may not be available. >
> I'm thinking I'll be available...
From: H.O.G.
Don't forget my 80's style hair-metal band "Chicks with Dicks". Not quite drag queen, but close enough to be virtually indistinguishable. They might be willing to open...
From: DNA
And this is why DNA loves you guys.
The other drag queen band DNA is currently fronting, "Urethra Franklin," might get pissed, no pun intended, if they don't play, too. DNA'll talk to Sally at the Hangar about a date, and if that won't work, DNA'll talk with Dave Marquis to do something at PK's.
DNA would like to have the Dammit Boys play along with. If Nonagon can play, too, that would be cool, but if they can't, DNA'll get Moon Buggy Kids, or Secondary Modern to hop on board.
DNA
To: Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: The DNA Vibrator
Re: The Summer Of Our Discontent
Date: 4/3/2008
Hey Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., and Song Engine,
How are you? This is DNA. A while ago I emailed you guys about playing before Jesus returns. I had narrowed that down to sometime this summer. After talking (emailing) with H.O.G., DNA decided he would talk to Craig and Bert about possibly playing their 4th of July party. This year, it may happen on the 4th, it may happen on the 5th. Bert needed to talk to Craig, but sounded very excited about having DNA play if we are able to swing it.
Here is the pitch to the Chicago guys: It is perhaps the best party Southern Illinois throws, and its chock full of people who still know you! It is kid/family friendly, with lots of kids/families there. There is camping out, tent style, on the large estate which is Craig and Bert's, and more of the BEST barbecue than the whole army of people who are there can possibly eat. Yes, there will be alcohol there. Yes, people will drink and be stupid. But as far as kids and safety are concerned, we took Carl last year, and he didn't blow his fingers off around the fireworks, so that is saying something. It has been busted by the cops the last few years, however. One year CRANK played. Sorry, we kind of spoiled it for everybody. Last year, some fireworks hit a neighbor's house. Craig and Bert are working on those noise and fireworks issues.
Oh yeah, the fireworks! Comparable to most southern Illinois cities' fireworks, only James Ricks is the guy setting them off.
Can I get a hell yeah from everybody if Craig and Bert are cool with us playing?
DNA
From: H.O.G.
HELL YEAH !! Since I'll be there anyway, that is efficient use of time!
As far as noise issues, we could play quieter than Crank if need be. I'd actually recommend it. And that was really my fault anyway, cuz I asked Craig if I was too loud. He (paraphrasing) told me to turn it up as loud as I wanted. I did.
So anyway, this morning I was standing in the closet pulling out clothes, and noticed that my Tinnitus is becoming more pronounced. There you have it - I just admitted I'm getting old and whiny (as opposed to just whiny). Hearing is a good thing, mostly.
Yes, the party IS kid friendly - if the kids are freaks like their parents. No really, its cool.
HOG
From: Song Engine
Hell Yeah- for the Song Engine, maybe the family could tow along. More on that later. Let me know what music to work on-and other details
Song Engine
To: Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: DNA
Re: DISCONTENT!!!
Well, guys, DNA wishes he could respond back with songs lists, etc., but SOMEBODY apparently is too busy with WORK or his LIFE or his FAMILY to join our little conversation right now.
His name rhymes with Sister Slahmikaze.
I must have made him mad the last time I was up at his house. For the last time, DNA is sorry he shit in your stairwell.
To: DNA, H.O.G., Song Engine
From: Mr. Kamikaze
Re: The Bacon Of Our Discontent...
To: H.O.G., Mr. Kamikaze, Song Engine
From: DNA
Re: The Bacon Of Out Discontent
DNA is stunned. That was the most beautiful thing DNA has seen this week. DNA is going to buy a pound of bacon and bring it home TONIGHT. And when wifey asks, "What's the bacon for?" DNA will say, "Clothes."
At least it is clear that work, life, and family have not been keeping Mr. Kamikaze away from out little conversation. DNA will note, however, that as enjoyable as seeing a bacon bra was, it was not the HELL YEAH!! DNA was hoping for.
So, Sister,
Is DNA putting too much pressure on you? Are you through working with a self-important douchebag like me? DNA could understand, if that were the case. Do you want DNA's dreams to be crushed?
Let me know,
DNA
From: H.O.G.
To: The Guys
Dude, that was cool. I'll pass that along to the BBQ team promptly.
Oh, and sorry about the "dude" thing, dude.
To: The guys
From: DNA
Re: Helloo-------helloo---------echo--------------homo----------
Date: 4/10/2008
Hi guys, how are you?
Did you get DNA's Kevin Bacon message?
Nobody
emailed
DNA
back.
DNA feels lonely all the way down here in Metropolis.
Did you guys all get together and kick me out of the band?
Can DNA still be a roadie? You can use all my stuff if you want.
Well, DNA heard back from Craig and he sounds very enthused about having us play if indeed we can play. He likes the DNA versus DEVO idea. So, DNA hopes we can. But if we can't, so be it.
On other notes, Mr. Kamikaze, DNA will be in Chicago doing a presentation, and will be in town April 30th and May 1st. Can DNA stay at your house? If so, great, if not, no big deal. DNA just needs to make his plans. DNA is going to try to rent a Dodge Charger to drive up there.
H.O.G., if you have had a moment to listen to the song DNA did about Theo and Marian, DNA will be happy to stay late one evening if you can knock that shit out. It shouldn't take more than an hour.
Song Engine, Schuba's was fun. Thanks again.
Talk to you later,
DNA
To: The Guys
From: DNA
Re: The Kevin Bacon Message
DNA takes it that's a no on the Kevin Bacon message DNA sent out via email?
DNA is ambivalent towards his computer right now. If you didn't get the Kevin Bacon message from DNA, do you want it? Now it's not going to seem quite as funny, since there is all this preconception about "The Kevin Bacon Message."
DNA
From: H.O.G.
To: the Guys
Re: Kevin Bacon
Huh? I like bacon. Go ahead a spam away!
From: Song Engine
To: The guys
Re: Playing a Show This summer....
Did you hear anything else about this July 4 gig? I just saw Jared... I mean heard Jared- who would play that tripped out keyboard?
Let me know if you hear anything so I can plan.
Cheers
Song Engine
To: The Guys
From: DNA
Re: The Demise Of The DNA Vibrators Has Been Greatly Exaggerated
DNA-theists,
DNA had a disconcerting conversation with Mr. Kamikaze last week. It inspired DNA to rush to Chicago for an emergency intervention to be by his side. Mr. Kamikaze, unbeknownst to DNA, or even his friends, was apparently on his death-bed, because he told me that that he just couldn't play a show down here in July, or in the near future, or probably in the distant future, either. The intervention started at 4:13 am last Wednesday. In about the time it takes to watch the Star Wars Trilogy (the good one), DNA was right there, at 4515 N. Bacon Street. Then, DNA remembered he lived on Beacon Street (fucking Bacon-bikini!!!). So, it took a little longer than DNA expected, but DNA knew he could hold on. When DNA got to his house, stoically, heroically, he was still at work, so DNA waited around their front porch and read a good book called "This Is Your Brain On Music." Then, DNA heard the cackle of Mr. Kamikaze's suped-up Volvo wagon. DNA rushed to meet him as he came walking in through the gate in his backyard. He looked deathly pale, the life practically oozing in puddles out of the soles of his shoes...or perhaps that was just the late afternoon sun in DNA's eyes. "Mr. Kamikaze," DNA whispered, getting as close as he could without our faces touching (cuz that would be gay), "what's the problem, ya little dickhead? Why can't you?"
Mr. Kamikaze said, "Uh, hi, DNA? What the hell are you doing here?" He sounded surprisingly okay. Seeing me must have lifted his spirits.
"Is it lupis? Anabolic steroid use? Annie?" DNA asked. "Cuz DNA could talk to her. She thinks DNA is cool."
"What the fuck are you talking about, DNA? Annie doesn't think you're cool!" He was pretty animated for being on his death-bed (maybe he just on his really-tired-from-work-bed).
"C'mon, man, it's just one show. One show which could change the motherfucking planet," which DNA said in the style of his favorite one trick pony, Jack Black. DNA even packed on 30 pounds of pure fat before he left Metropolis to be more inspiring for JUST THIS MOMENT.
Mr. Kamikaze stopped trying to push DNA out of his face. "Are you here right now to get me to play that party thing?..." Incredulous hardly describes how incredulous DNA was.
"Party thing?" DNA said. "Party...thing?" You see, you understand, DNA thought he must have been on his death-bed, or his really-tired-from-work-bed, if he wasn't gung-ho to play.....
Mr. Kamikaze looked like he just watched the Pope masturbate. "You can't be fucking serious. This is why you are here? Do you think you're Jack Black or something?"
It was an honest mistake, right? Why else would he not want to play?
"Well, you didn't respond to my email, and then, well, after the 30th time DNA called, you seemed kind of annoyed, so DNA thought..." which trailed off the same way that a condom hangs out of the mouth of a drunken hooker. You know, kind of sadly.
"You know what this makes you?" Mr. Kamikaze asked.
"A pathetic, little man?"
"Yes."
And Mr. Kamikaze was right. After DNA broke down in tears, DNA realized that this intervention was for him, not Mr. Kamikaze.
So, for DNA's sake, Mr. Kamikaze can't play the show.
Actually, Mr. Kamikaze can't play the show because work, family, stress, and not having time or feeling comfortable to learn a bunch of new songs slapped him like a bitch. DNA could have folded, crumpled under that Ike-Turnerish assault, and said, "Well, then, fuck it, DNA guesses the DNA Vibrators are done." But then DNA realized, DNA has made more records without a real drummer than DNA ever did with one, anyway. Mr. Kamikaze is in the band cuz he is fun, not because he is the drummer. So, DNA asked Mr. Kamikaze if he would be pissed if DNA asked somebody else to play drums, and honestly, he looked relieved, and said, "No, I would not be pissed!"
H.O.G., do you know if Bill Lancaster is still around, or if Taz might be able to get together with us? DNA is thinking about asking my musical friends via myspace to see if any of them would be willing to play drums for us for a set. DNA is also strongly considering playing out, but using the computer, set up on a desk, to play the drums and the keys, kind of like it does, well, now. It would be complete with witty banter, all preprogrammed! Unfortunately, this would probably take a level of precision that DNA is not capable of reproducing live.
However, DNA is just as comfortable telling Craig that Mr. Kamikaze hates him and we can't play his party. DNA just wanted to let you guys know what was up. DNA doesn't want to do any of that until DNA hears back from you guys. So, guys, give me your feedback: What would you like the DNA Vibrators to do? Song Engine, DNA kind of realize that if it ain't you and Mr. Kamikaze both coming down, it's not worth the gas to get here, and DNA is okay with whatever you decide. H.O.G., you and DNA are here anyway, so my opinion for us is WTF---why not? Hell, Mr. Kamikaze, if you want to come to the party, but NOT play, that would be cool, too. Their parties ROCK, and are not to be missed.
On a separate note, H.O.G., if you can squeeze in some time to knock out the best solo of your life EVER, that would be great. Let me know a time that would work for you (preferably after regular work hours---DNA'll stay late!).
The DNA Vibrators are dead. Long live the DNA Vibrators!
From H.O.G.
To: The guys
I am apoplectic. Or is that Apostolic, apologetic, appollonian, or just appalling?
Fuck, I can't even give this a coherent response...
On with my new project, Brother of Sam.
Yes, you heard me. Yes, THAT Sam. Or his brother anyway. Who I just saw at Makanda Fest on saturday. Swaying about, looking old.
You losers don't even know what I'm talking about, do you?
Well you know what? I don't know what to say just now. I'm also quite busy (not) doing some shit I need to get done.
I'll respond more coherently when I have more time...
H.O.G.
To: The Guys
From: DNA
Re: DNA's Last weird email...
Hi folks,
DNA thinks perhaps his last email, in an attempt to be humorous, was a little weird, even for DNA.
So DNA'll summarize it for you: Mr. Kamikaze can't play in July, and is real busy.
DNA would like to know in the next few days if anybody else is interested in playing, cuz DNA ain't gonna throw a bunch of shit together at the last minute, and if we play, DNA got a lot of work to do (either arranging shit with a new drummer and possibly two guitars, or writing/recording/editing a bunch of shit on the computer). If we can't/won't play, then DNA wants to be able to tell Craig and Bert about it right away.
Talk to you later,
DNA
To: The Guys
From: H.O.G.
Re: Fucking weird email....
Yeah, my response was a little weird too, though I was definitely attempting to be humorous.
So my vote is we just bow out. It's too fucked up. I have too many other things going on.
I have a wedding to play over Memorial Day weekend. I'm not ready.
I have two (3?) concerts (like real serious performances) in the middle of June. Again, not ready.
I could go on with 1/2 dozen other things, but that is enough to freak me out.
I don't think I will be able to really enjoy the process of doing a show, and if it ain't fun...
Which is probably where Mr. Kamikaze is at, even if he could make it down.
Let's do it if/when we are ready and NEED to do it. I'm not saying you don't have needs, DNA;?}
Anyway, I'm off to rehearsal for said June concerts.
DNA, I don't know if/when I can record at this point. Let me try to get shit straight over the weekend and let you know.
I would still be willing to play (something) at ReevesFest, but I think DNA will be problematic.
Peace guys, H.O.G.
At which point, we took H.O.G.'s advice, and bowed out. See how weird shit can get when people talk to each other?
Permanent Historical Record: 06/12/08
And Then There Were Nine...
Since DNA completed
It Could Have Been Worse
it wrote two songs in quick succession: "It Got Worse," and "You Didn't Know." The first song, "It Got Worse," is the call back to the above mentioned song. The next song, "You Didn't Know," was inspired by DNA's cat, Ptolemy. He is nearing death's door, and we will probably be taking him to the vet this Saturday to be euthanized. Once you realize DNA is singing to his soon-to-be-dead cat, it makes the whole song more gay, DNA guesses (if that's possible). Screw you guys! It makes it cooler!!!
So, the new record is shaping up as follows:
There's Something On Your Back
Black Monday
The Ballad of Theo and Marian
I Saw Jared
You Call My Name
The Simple Pleasures
It Could Have Been Worse
It Got Worse
You Didn't Know
And here are the new songs:
It Got Worse
You Didn't Know
That's like, 9 songs already. You know, DNA could have spent that time doing aerobics, or learning origami.
Permanent Historical Record: 06/20/08
Music News and Myoo-SICK Revues!!!
DNA has written a couple of more songs, and is going to resurrect an old Coolies song called, "This Song (was written for my friend, Jim)." DNA has decided on at least one cover song: "Big Bad John," by none other than Jimmy Dean, more famous now for sausage than hit records. DNA would also like to fit in one more cover song. Any ideas?
Time for another Myoo-SICK Revue. This one has been a long time coming. DNA has only bought a couple of new records lately, new to him, at least. DNA is gay for the Supersuckers, so it has been buying up their stuff, and DNA is now carrying the torch for this installment's review subject: the band Polysics.
What do you need to know about Polysics? Well how about this? They're cool. They're from Japan. They've been around for over 10 years, but unless you're into import vinyl and CD's, you probably have never heard of them. Because at first glance, they look like a DEVO clone, circa 1980, even if you had heard of them, you might just pass them by, and say something like, "Fuck, I just don't get the Japanese."
DNA is here to say, "Fuck, DNA just don't get the Japanese," and that is okay. Polysics is not so much about the obsessive mimicry of Western styles that permeates Japanese culture, but about paying homage, making inspired quirky songs from the New Wave spring that still bubbles up on the side of Mt. Fuji, and also really innovating sound, and trying elements of different styles.
Far from being a DEVO clone, Polysics is a DEVO meets Man-Or-Astroman clone, and hell, aren't there hundreds of bands like that? Oh, that's right. There is one. Polysics.
In most myoo-SICK revues, DNA quotes some lyrics out of context to make bands sound really ignorant, but it is hard to do with Polysics, since most of the lyrics are in Japanese. Some are in English, DNA thinks, but in the end, it doesn't matter. The sounds of the lyrics are part of the brush Polysics uses to paint their old Korg Poly Six keyboards.
In the album DNA just purchased, called Polysics Or Die!!!! Vista, a greatest hits compilation (their second, actually) there are some songs or sounds that are a little too DEVO for their own good. It's hard to beat the boys from Akron at their own game, and unfortunately, when Polysics mines that vein a little too deeply, they sound more like a caricature than a creative force. However, on some cuts, like "I My Me Mine," they capture the guts of New Wave with very little of the glitter and black eyeliner that went with the typical synth band. The old analog synths deliver the "soul" of the biomechanical rhythm, but the fuzz and overdriven drums, frantic and frenetic vocals, and the tri-tone creepy synth texture on the top makes this little gem really shine. And, you can't get much greasier on a keyboard bassline than the song, "Kaja Kaja Goo," which must means something in Japanese and simultaneously points out how idiotic one of the more successful new wave synth bands, Kaja Goo Goo, was.
Here's a clip from YouTube:
The girl in the video isn't in the band, or so DNA has heard. She just kind of hangs out with them.
And you might as well see the rest of the story:
So, go buy the record. It's available on iTunes, or in really cool records stores. While you're at it, check out the Octopus Project, too. More fun in the same vein.
No more YouTube shit. DNA gets it. Sorry. He was stuck on the cut and paste.
April was a whirlwind. Sales of the Akkademik's record has taken off, DNA is in the midst of planning events, writing songs, traveling for his work, and studying for finals. While this was going on, DNA went on a nature hike, entertained relatives from Alaska, built a shed, survived an earthquake, nearly choked to death, and got a new dog, named Lucky. Thank God he ain't too busy.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/04/08
April's Showers Bring May's Super-Double-Kick-Ass Rock!
In April, we had snow, ice, floods, and 90 degree weather, thunderstorms, high winds, tornado watches, and also some absolutely beautiful Tahiti island days. Yaaayyyyyy! global warming! so, this year, it wasn't just April showers hard at work reminding Hades to release Persephone on the world, letting loose the coiled energy of vernal verdigris...oh, fuck all that....it's Spring! Spring has sprung! And like a junkie who is sprung, Spring is shakin' and bakin,' quakin' and undertakin' (almost).
In keeping with the title of the post, most of DNA's news this month will have to do with musical goings-on. That's novel, isn't it? A music blog focusing on music.
For DNA's own reference, DNA will list the topics he would like cover this month:
1. Music news, including 4, count em, 4 songs now done for the new record, and several more new ones on the way;
2. Music news, including a long overdue primer for you Mac nuts on how to get the most out of Garageband. Considering DNA has recorded about 75 original recordings using ONLY Garageband drums, you'd think he'd have figured it out by now, but just LAST WEEK he discovered a new trick which really improved the sound he was getting;
3. Music news, including the tragic story of MR. Kamikaze, and why he WON'T be playing drums if the DNA Vibrators play out this summer...
4. Music news, including reviews of some bands that if you haven't listened to, you should, because DNA knows what is good for you. These bands include: The Near Death Experience, Unclefucker, The Supersuckers, Moonbuggy Kids, Nonagon, and Polysics;
5. Music news, including, hopefully, the confirmation of a DNA show this summer;
6. DNA's choking incident...yes, that sounds serious;
7. Pictures from the nature hike, along with the end of the first chapter of the story of Suresh (you might remember Suresh from the FREE SURESH campaign DNA was part of a few months back);
8. Various and sundry other shit DNA promised to do last month but didn't :D
DNA is struggling with the title for the new record. DNA has called it "3," even though this will actually be the DNA Vibrator's 6th album, and "De-Mandatory," cuz H.O.G. told DNA a funny story from somebody who used that term as a real word--- but, neither of those are quite right. DNA is leaning towards a title in the same vein as the titles of the previous two records. Here's his first try: "The Inconspicuous Intersection Of The Gross And Sublime." Too pretentious? Probably. It's the word "sublime." Nobody calls his own stuff sublime, unless he is a pretty big douchebag. But hey, if the douchebag fits,....insert it??? Or, maybe DNA could substitute the word "obvious" instead "sublime?" That might work, too.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/07/08
A Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On!
Southern Illinois lies on a network of deep, ancient geologic faults, most notably, the New Madrid fault. A couple of weeks back, a 5.2 magnitude earthquake shook this area, followed by several aftershocks. Do you know the difference between an aftershock or a foreshock? Well, if the big earthquake happens first, and then smaller quakes happen later, the smaller quakes are aftershocks. However, if what you thought was the big quake was followed by even bigger quakes, then the quakes before the big one are called foreshocks. so, what a scientist calls an aftershock today, might be a foreshock tomorrow.
Oh, DNA also found out that homeowner's insurance typically does not cover earthquake damage. Thanks, multi-billion dollar huge profit industry.
Those of you who read here from time to time know that DNA is the driving force behind the Akkademiks, a band that writes songs about academic subjects, like earthquakes. Here is an early demo version of the song "Earthquake Report," before it appeared on the Akkademiks record called, "The Akkademiks....ROCK!"
Earthquake Report
There is another fine song about earthquakes on the record, but you'll just have to buy the record to get that one. If you buy the record, you get the studio final version of Earthquake Report, too. Isn't that nice?
During the actual earthquake, DNA slept. The next day, DNA felt the aftershock. It was strange, feeling the building at which DNA works sway back and forth, and seeing the water in the fish tank slosh back and forth.
Since the quake, there has been about 20 aftershocks, and some other quakes in nearby areas. There's nothing like an earthquake to make you feel like an inconsequential case of fleas on the back of a big, big, dog.
There are more songs on the way, and a couple of features DNA is looking forward to writing. Check back soon.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/14/08
Garageband Is For Nerds Who Are Gay For Macs
You may not have a Mac, and you may not know what Garageband is. DNA can�t help you. But if you have a Mac, then you probably know what Garageband is. In fact, like most people, you probably played with it for about 10 minutes, like you did with the built in camera/photobooth feature which seems really cool�for about 3 of those 10 minutes you messed around with it. The difference is that Garageband is much more than just a gimmick.
If you have a PC, DNA isn�t ignoring you. In fact, there are many programs like Garageband around the net to download for free or for cheap. Basically, Garageband is a simple, all-in-one multi-track recorder, composer, mixer, sampler, digital converter, mastering deck, and loop browser.
So, you may have one of many other similar pieces of software. Good for you. Since DNA will be talking about Garageband, some of what is discussed next is ubiquitous and applicable to you, but some of it is anachronistic and only will make sense if you use Garageband.
Garageband is a no frills music engine, extremely easy to use, but full of hidden potential to produce some top notch recordings. Don't believe DNA? Almost all of the last 50 songs DNA has put out on the last several records have been completely recorded in, or using software instruments of, or loops from, Garageband.
The key to making Garageband recordings which sound and feel live, have a certain spaciousness, and warm quality that belies their digital pedigree, is drums. Not the drum sounds themselves, because the loops are top notch, nor the built in drum kits from which you can compose your own beats, which sound very live. Like DNA has said before, computers make perfect worlds easily. It's all the tiny imperfections and variations which give our world its dimension that computers get snagged up on. This logic holds for computer drums. They are too perfect. The tempo is too precise, especially for rock and roll. So, in order to get the most out of your drum sound, pretty soon, you will find you will build your own beats, and use loops for flavor. When you make your own beats, even though it takes more time, create your first measure, and instead of pulling the tab to simply loop it over and over, copy and paste each individual measure next to each other separately. That will be the flexible base from which you work. As you lay down other tracks, whether they are live or virtual, then you will have the freedom to tweak individual measures, adding or subtracting elements as needed. Also, though it takes more time, leave your high hat and cymbals to another separate track. The effects you might want to put on them later will be different than the effects you will want to put on your toms or snare.
As you place and tweak each measure, it is important to build in imperfections---fluctuations in the lengths that the high hat is held, differences in the velocity at which you hit the snare, triplets that are held a fraction too long on the first beat---you get the idea. You don�t have to do it every measure, but you do need to do it enough and with enough subtlety that it still feels natural. This is a must do.
DNA has followed this basic premise for most of his songs, and except in rare instances, it is really difficult to tell that the drums are almost all 100% canned. However, after successful recording with Garageband for a few years now, just last week, DNA discovered the next natural progression in making the drums sound even more live and natural.
The step is an extension of the "put your high hat and cymbals on a separate track" philosophy. On your main basic track, you put your snare, toms, and bass drum. Leave this track unaffected, except for any EQ and compression you need to keep the track levels and tone right.
On another track (sometimes two, if you want right and left separation) you put your high hat and cymbals. On another track, you duplicate your snare/tom/bass drum track, but then you remove the bass drum.
On this track, you apply any of the matrix reverb effects. When you do this separately, instead of applying a little bit of matrix reverb on the first track you make, in which you kind of have to split the difference between having a crisp snare or an effected snare, it sounds different. Better. More like real drums in a real club.
You have the original snap of the dry snare, and also the effected track which fattens it up so much more. The same sound holds true for toms and other percussion, but not so much for the bass drum. In fact, if you leave the bass drum in the second track, it sounds kind of flappy, probably because there are some noticeable phase problems with the low frequencies that aren't present with the higher frequency drums.
Listen to these two versions of the same demo, one without the duplicated effected track, and one with.
Fat Drums DRY
Fat Drums EFFECTED
Doesn't this defeat the purpose of the simplicity of Garageband? No. So there. Well, it does make creating drums a little more complicated, but in the end, once you have finished all of those drums, you can save it as a loop, and make it all real simple again. In various degrees, all of the new songs DNA is working on will use this method of drum creation.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/19/08
Individual Arias From The Collective Opera
On the way to work today, DNA swore that he wouldn't even think about music. Then, the title for the new record came to him. It will be called, "Individual Arias From the Collective Opera," because the new record is purposely being driven by songs specifically about individual people DNA knows. Or, individuals DNA made up for the purpose of the song. This is very different for DNA, whose subjects generally are not actual people, but are comic book characters, cats, or sexual organs.
There are five songs ready for the new record. They are:
You Call My Name
The Ballad Of Theo And Marian
I Saw Jared
There's Something On Your Back
Black Monday
These are all about people DNA knows, with the exception of Black Monday. Listen to them, and see if one is about you!
Permanent Historical Record: 05/29/08
It's A Happy Song!
You know why you hear a thousand songs about being angry to every one song about being happy? DNA could leave you to your own designs, but, fuck it, it's a rhetorical question anyway. The reason is because it is a lot harder to write a song about generally feeling content and happy. The reason it is harder is because a happy song generally doesn't have the dramatic tension that a bad relationship song, or a dirty love song, or a hate your guts song, or poor misunderstood teenager song comes loaded with. It is hard not to make a happy song sound like sissies sucking lollypops wrote it, or make it sound like a greeting card set to muzak.
The Coolies wrote a couple of happy songs, (most notably, "Happy" ) without sounding too much like we wore Power Puff Girls underwear (even though we did). Angst, betrayal, jealousy, lust, these baser emotions still bear lyrical fruit even in the clumsiest of hands.
So, DNA isn't trying to brag, but after writing a kick-ass song about regret and remorse, addiction and loss, it wanted to try its hand at a song about being content. DNA stayed with its plan, and picked a person he knew to use as his template, and literally, in the next 10 minutes, it was done. It took a few more hours after that to finish the tracks, but once the lyrics were done, everything else was secondary.
Without further ado, here is
The Simple Pleasures
DNA is already hard at work on the next song, inspired by DEVO.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/04/08
April's Showers Bring May's Super-Double-Kick-Ass Rock!
In April, we had snow, ice, floods, and 90 degree weather, thunderstorms, high winds, tornado watches, and also some absolutely beautiful Tahiti island days. Yaaayyyyyy! global warming! so, this year, it wasn't just April showers hard at work reminding Hades to release Persephone on the world, letting loose the coiled energy of vernal verdigris...oh, fuck all that....it's Spring! Spring has sprung! And like a junkie who is sprung, Spring is shakin' and bakin,' quakin' and undertakin' (almost).
In keeping with the title of the post, most of DNA's news this month will have to do with musical goings-on. That's novel, isn't it? A music blog focusing on music.
For DNA's own reference, DNA will list the topics he would like cover this month:
1. Music news, including 4, count em, 4 songs now done for the new record, and several more new ones on the way;
2. Music news, including a long overdue primer for you Mac nuts on how to get the most out of Garageband. Considering DNA has recorded about 75 original recordings using ONLY Garageband drums, you'd think he'd have figured it out by now, but just LAST WEEK he discovered a new trick which really improved the sound he was getting;
3. Music news, including the tragic story of MR. Kamikaze, and why he WON'T be playing drums if the DNA Vibrators play out this summer...
4. Music news, including reviews of some bands that if you haven't listened to, you should, because DNA knows what is good for you. These bands include: The Near Death Experience, Unclefucker, The Supersuckers, Moonbuggy Kids, Nonagon, and Polysics;
5. Music news, including, hopefully, the confirmation of a DNA show this summer;
6. DNA's choking incident...yes, that sounds serious;
7. Pictures from the nature hike, along with the end of the first chapter of the story of Suresh (you might remember Suresh from the FREE SURESH campaign DNA was part of a few months back);
8. Various and sundry other shit DNA promised to do last month but didn't :D
DNA is struggling with the title for the new record. DNA has called it "3," even though this will actually be the DNA Vibrator's 6th album, and "De-Mandatory," cuz H.O.G. told DNA a funny story from somebody who used that term as a real word--- but, neither of those are quite right. DNA is leaning towards a title in the same vein as the titles of the previous two records. Here's his first try: "The Inconspicuous Intersection Of The Gross And Sublime." Too pretentious? Probably. It's the word "sublime." Nobody calls his own stuff sublime, unless he is a pretty big douchebag. But hey, if the douchebag fits,....insert it??? Or, maybe DNA could substitute the word "obvious" instead "sublime?" That might work, too.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/07/08
A Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On!
Southern Illinois lies on a network of deep, ancient geologic faults, most notably, the New Madrid fault. A couple of weeks back, a 5.2 magnitude earthquake shook this area, followed by several aftershocks. Do you know the difference between an aftershock or a foreshock? Well, if the big earthquake happens first, and then smaller quakes happen later, the smaller quakes are aftershocks. However, if what you thought was the big quake was followed by even bigger quakes, then the quakes before the big one are called foreshocks. so, what a scientist calls an aftershock today, might be a foreshock tomorrow.
Oh, DNA also found out that homeowner's insurance typically does not cover earthquake damage. Thanks, multi-billion dollar huge profit industry.
Those of you who read here from time to time know that DNA is the driving force behind the Akkademiks, a band that writes songs about academic subjects, like earthquakes. Here is an early demo version of the song "Earthquake Report," before it appeared on the Akkademiks record called, "The Akkademiks....ROCK!"
Earthquake Report
There is another fine song about earthquakes on the record, but you'll just have to buy the record to get that one. If you buy the record, you get the studio final version of Earthquake Report, too. Isn't that nice?
During the actual earthquake, DNA slept. The next day, DNA felt the aftershock. It was strange, feeling the building at which DNA works sway back and forth, and seeing the water in the fish tank slosh back and forth.
Since the quake, there has been about 20 aftershocks, and some other quakes in nearby areas. There's nothing like an earthquake to make you feel like an inconsequential case of fleas on the back of a big, big, dog.
There are more songs on the way, and a couple of features DNA is looking forward to writing. Check back soon.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/14/08
Garageband Is For Nerds Who Are Gay For Macs
You may not have a Mac, and you may not know what Garageband is. DNA can�t help you. But if you have a Mac, then you probably know what Garageband is. In fact, like most people, you probably played with it for about 10 minutes, like you did with the built in camera/photobooth feature which seems really cool�for about 3 of those 10 minutes you messed around with it. The difference is that Garageband is much more than just a gimmick.
If you have a PC, DNA isn�t ignoring you. In fact, there are many programs like Garageband around the net to download for free or for cheap. Basically, Garageband is a simple, all-in-one multi-track recorder, composer, mixer, sampler, digital converter, mastering deck, and loop browser.
So, you may have one of many other similar pieces of software. Good for you. Since DNA will be talking about Garageband, some of what is discussed next is ubiquitous and applicable to you, but some of it is anachronistic and only will make sense if you use Garageband.
Garageband is a no frills music engine, extremely easy to use, but full of hidden potential to produce some top notch recordings. Don't believe DNA? Almost all of the last 50 songs DNA has put out on the last several records have been completely recorded in, or using software instruments of, or loops from, Garageband.
The key to making Garageband recordings which sound and feel live, have a certain spaciousness, and warm quality that belies their digital pedigree, is drums. Not the drum sounds themselves, because the loops are top notch, nor the built in drum kits from which you can compose your own beats, which sound very live. Like DNA has said before, computers make perfect worlds easily. It's all the tiny imperfections and variations which give our world its dimension that computers get snagged up on. This logic holds for computer drums. They are too perfect. The tempo is too precise, especially for rock and roll. So, in order to get the most out of your drum sound, pretty soon, you will find you will build your own beats, and use loops for flavor. When you make your own beats, even though it takes more time, create your first measure, and instead of pulling the tab to simply loop it over and over, copy and paste each individual measure next to each other separately. That will be the flexible base from which you work. As you lay down other tracks, whether they are live or virtual, then you will have the freedom to tweak individual measures, adding or subtracting elements as needed. Also, though it takes more time, leave your high hat and cymbals to another separate track. The effects you might want to put on them later will be different than the effects you will want to put on your toms or snare.
As you place and tweak each measure, it is important to build in imperfections---fluctuations in the lengths that the high hat is held, differences in the velocity at which you hit the snare, triplets that are held a fraction too long on the first beat---you get the idea. You don�t have to do it every measure, but you do need to do it enough and with enough subtlety that it still feels natural. This is a must do.
DNA has followed this basic premise for most of his songs, and except in rare instances, it is really difficult to tell that the drums are almost all 100% canned. However, after successful recording with Garageband for a few years now, just last week, DNA discovered the next natural progression in making the drums sound even more live and natural.
The step is an extension of the "put your high hat and cymbals on a separate track" philosophy. On your main basic track, you put your snare, toms, and bass drum. Leave this track unaffected, except for any EQ and compression you need to keep the track levels and tone right.
On another track (sometimes two, if you want right and left separation) you put your high hat and cymbals. On another track, you duplicate your snare/tom/bass drum track, but then you remove the bass drum.
On this track, you apply any of the matrix reverb effects. When you do this separately, instead of applying a little bit of matrix reverb on the first track you make, in which you kind of have to split the difference between having a crisp snare or an effected snare, it sounds different. Better. More like real drums in a real club.
You have the original snap of the dry snare, and also the effected track which fattens it up so much more. The same sound holds true for toms and other percussion, but not so much for the bass drum. In fact, if you leave the bass drum in the second track, it sounds kind of flappy, probably because there are some noticeable phase problems with the low frequencies that aren't present with the higher frequency drums.
Listen to these two versions of the same demo, one without the duplicated effected track, and one with.
Fat Drums DRY
Fat Drums EFFECTED
Doesn't this defeat the purpose of the simplicity of Garageband? No. So there. Well, it does make creating drums a little more complicated, but in the end, once you have finished all of those drums, you can save it as a loop, and make it all real simple again. In various degrees, all of the new songs DNA is working on will use this method of drum creation.
Permanent Historical Record: 05/19/08
Individual Arias From The Collective Opera
On the way to work today, DNA swore that he wouldn't even think about music. Then, the title for the new record came to him. It will be called, "Individual Arias From the Collective Opera," because the new record is purposely being driven by songs specifically about individual people DNA knows. Or, individuals DNA made up for the purpose of the song. This is very different for DNA, whose subjects generally are not actual people, but are comic book characters, cats, or sexual organs.
There are five songs ready for the new record. They are:
You Call My Name
The Ballad Of Theo And Marian
I Saw Jared
There's Something On Your Back
Black Monday
These are all about people DNA knows, with the exception of Black Monday. Listen to them, and see if one is about you!
Permanent Historical Record: 05/29/08
It's A Happy Song!
You know why you hear a thousand songs about being angry to every one song about being happy? DNA could leave you to your own designs, but, fuck it, it's a rhetorical question anyway. The reason is because it is a lot harder to write a song about generally feeling content and happy. The reason it is harder is because a happy song generally doesn't have the dramatic tension that a bad relationship song, or a dirty love song, or a hate your guts song, or poor misunderstood teenager song comes loaded with. It is hard not to make a happy song sound like sissies sucking lollypops wrote it, or make it sound like a greeting card set to muzak.
The Coolies wrote a couple of happy songs, (most notably, "Happy" ) without sounding too much like we wore Power Puff Girls underwear (even though we did). Angst, betrayal, jealousy, lust, these baser emotions still bear lyrical fruit even in the clumsiest of hands.
So, DNA isn't trying to brag, but after writing a kick-ass song about regret and remorse, addiction and loss, it wanted to try its hand at a song about being content. DNA stayed with its plan, and picked a person he knew to use as his template, and literally, in the next 10 minutes, it was done. It took a few more hours after that to finish the tracks, but once the lyrics were done, everything else was secondary.
Without further ado, here is
The Simple Pleasures
DNA is already hard at work on the next song, inspired by DEVO.
April, 2008
The Schuba's show happened, was a ton of fun, then DNA was struck with inspiration to write a new song for two of his friends who are finally gettin' married, and has resolved to put on an awesome show this summer. Also, DNA is gettin' primed to do his next Akkademiks record, called, "The Akkademiks...Psychoanalyze! Your Musical Study guide to Introductory Psychology." March was berry, berry, good to DNA.
Permanent Historical Record: 04/01/08
Repeating...
As will happen sometimes at the end of a month, DNA posted something yesterday, and just wasn't ready for it to go to the blog graveyard. So, he copied it in its entirety to kick off April. This isn't DNA being lazy. DNA really liked that old post, it was just like a post to him...
So, here it is:
DNA and his wife don't get to watch movies all that often, and when we do, it's rare that we agree on one that we both like. Only a couple of movies we have rented lately, like Stardust, or Enchanted, actually appealed to both of us. I Am Legend appealed a little, until the chick and the kid shows up, but everybody on the internet who tries to express an opinion about movies has already talked about that, so DNA won't add to the search engines' results if someone types in "Will Smith" "Legend" "Ending Sucks Donkey Balls" (yields approximately 20,000 hits).
DNA isn't about movie reviews anyway. What DNA likes in movies most people do not. Also, DNA really likes some movies that are really bad by anyone's approximation. DNA really has no taste in movies. However, music in movies is something that DNA pays close attention to.
DNA has long felt that movie soundtracks were little more than silver marketing machines for bad movies. Does your movie suck? Put a bunch of well-liked classic songs on it, and it becomes a retro collection. Or, gather up a bunch of indie bands dying for a little more mainstream exposure, and you gain street cred for your dogshit movie. But, every once in awhile, the soundtrack makes the movie, or works in perfect harmony (couldn't resist) with the visual elements of the movie.
DNA watched a movie yesterday which sucked. It was called Southland Tales. Don't go see it. It was supposed to be awesome, directed by a visionary director, chock full of the coolest and most unusual ensemble cast, but in a case of David Lynchian proportions of not being able to live up to its hype, it was a two and a half hour weird-a-thon. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but after a little while, seeing the bizarre and only understanding part of why its bizarre gets annoying. As much as you might like vignettes, characters, or individual scenes, the actual movie falls apart. Sure sign a movie sucks dogshit: When one of the characters has to provide a voiceover for most of the movie to make sure the audience "gets" the otherwise convoluted and and unnecessarily quirky, moody and metaphorical plot. DNA doesn't want to spoil it for you, in case you watch it despite this stern warning: DON'T!!! But, some of you might like watching Duane "the Rock" Johnson die. Whoops, sorry about that reveal.
Well, if you watched it, then DNA is sure you agree, it sucked. But, one thing that did not suck was the music. In fact, there is one point, near the end, in which music takes center stage, so to speak. First, Rebekah Del Rio (yes, sounds like a porn star name, but it is not) knocks out a version of the Star Spangled Banner which gives Jimmy Hendrix's version a run for its money as the coolest version ever. DNA ain't lyin. Go to iTunes and look up the soundtrack, and listen to 30 seconds of it. You will be sold. Or watch this scene from the movie:
Also, Sarah Michelle Gellar does a terrific job on a song called "Teen Horniness Is Not A Crime."
It's hard to reinvent a classic, but Rebekah did. What do you think?
Permanent Historical Record: 04/07/08
He's Back!
DNA doesn't spend a lot of time surfing the internet. He has several places he always goes; he always checks on the multi-millions of dollars his music is generating for him on iTunes, CD Baby! and through the Snocap store on the myspace page, for example. He flits about the internet to check out a few blogs, does a random search or two for some porn catchphrases, but always checks back to see one website in particular:
Monstee's Cave
Monstee has a certain take on the world, the take of a blue furry monster who talks like Yoda but every once in a while fucks the knotholes in telephone poles. He's like one of the monsters from the book, "Where the Wild Things Are" if the wild things got stoned and drank a lot of vodka, and instead of doing the bidding of the boy Max from the book, he let Max sleep and buggered his mom downstairs. DNA guesses that would make Monstee a lovable pervert. DNA has known Monstee for many years, and in fact, as DNA has said before, it was Monstee who was primarily responsible for getting him to start his own website.
Monstee had been gone for awhile, but has resumed posting, at least for the time being. Be happy, internet! Monstee is back. You know Monstee has got to be cool if he is the subject of someone else's web comic.
(used without permission. Ripped right from Blunt Cogs if you must know)
Once you're on either Monstee's website or on Blunt Cogs, take some time and look around. You will be glad you did.
DNA wishes he had a web comic. Oh wait, he does....Flamin' Guitars is a comic, and it's on the motherfucking web! So there, everybody else who has a web comic!
Permanent Historical Record: 04/17/08
Inspiration...
DNA has written two songs in the last two weeks. One was inspired by two of his friends getting married. He's not going to debut it until after it is completely done.
This week, DNA has done the songwriting, and needs to get the recording done, on a song inspired by a student he knows at the University. It's called, "I Saw Jared," and as soon as I get the melody right, I will debut it here. DNA thinks it will be getting enough songs done in June/July to complete the next album.
DNA expects that the infamous 4th of July party at Craig and Berts will hold a surprise or two for DNA and his friends....DNA has been inspired to write a song for that, too.
School has been kicking DNA's ass for awhile, so the posts have been pretty thin. DNA is building up a couple of features: One on some new bands he has been listening to, and two on some good old stories of the Carbondale music scene.
So, give DNA a break, check out some of the archives while the current stuff is thin, and at least DNA will try to put up some new band photos on the front page more often (about once a week or so, right now).
Permanent Historical Record: 04/28/08
Just Another Day...
The guys in Oingo Boingo summed it up pretty well, as a statement about the inanities of life, the futility of living. "Just another day" is as chilling as T.S. Elliot's "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," without being pretentious or hard to approach. Maybe it's more chilling, because people outside of English departments have actually heard of Oingo Boingo. Well, that may not be true anymore. Oingo Boingo aren't really what they used to be.
Was today just another day for you? Really? Well, it wasn't for DNA. Today marks the second anniversary of his mom's death. This weekend, DNA got to do some rock climbing. DNA is fat and out of shape. It's not often mother nature slaps your ass around for it, though. DNA got to meet his new nephew from Nepal, Suresh. DNA's wife's sister, husband, and new son came to visit from Alaska. DNA got to buy cool toys for Suresh. The program where DNA works had its 30th anniversary celebration, in which students and staff from all over the country came back to celebrate being part of a very special group of people. If indeed this was just another day, perhaps it is because any day can be extraordinary. Maybe "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" would be a more apt aphorism, but that seems a little too bi-polar for DNA.
At lunch, DNA wolfed down a big tortilla chip and it got stuck in his throat, too far and too hard to cough back up. The airway was clear, but DNA could feel the little corn shuriken cutting the inside of his throat as it was lodged in there. DNA didn't panic, and tried to swallow some water, but it wasn't budging, and it was hurting. So, DNA tried to chuck it up. In the course of the first heave, as one does, he tightened his throat for the hurl, and heard the chip "crack." Then, it went down, and like the ice berg that ripped the Titanic's hull, the tortilla continued to slice down each side of his esophagus. It really hurt.
After the painful experience, DNA asked his departed mom if that wouldn't have been the strangest shit if he had checked out on the same day as his mom? She didn't respond.
The only thing that separates you from DNA is experience. Our experiences are different, so what is a strange or unusual day for DNA is not for you, or vice versa. Experience is all subjective, it depends on so many things, yet it is the sum of this imperfect information gathering process we call living which makes us saints or serial killers, or both.
Here are a couple of moments in DNA's life, fond recollections of his mom, that might bring a little bit of his experience to you.
DNA's mom was born in 1924. She remembered what the Great Depression was like firsthand. She taught herself to read before she was in kindergarten. She would take the trolley to the Milwaukee Public Library with her sister. She looked over her sister's shoulder while her sister read, and figured it out. She went to the Chicago World's Fair. She was a member of the Women's Air Corps during WWII, and taught pilots how to fly by instruments alone (blind flying) in a LINK trainer in Brownsville, Texas. She worked crossword puzzles her whole life, loved big band music, graduated from college, was divorced in the 1950's, (scandalous) played the upright bass in school, was a stamp collector, was active in her church, loved to unsweetened ice tea from an earthenware mug, and was a chain smoker for most of her life. One day she decided quit smoking, and she did it. That was a small exercise in the willpower she had at her disposal. She was funny, political, probably the smartest person DNA will ever know, but also, at times, too provincial, racially prejudiced in some of her fears, and a little too passive-aggressive.
She had told DNA that early in her life, she had had a conversation with God, and God told her that she would die comfortably in her sleep in her old age. This is kind of a strange conversation to have with your mom, but mom was adamant that just like a phone call, the words had been crystal clear.
Mom died sitting comfortably in her home, in the house she lived in for over 50 years, in her comfy chair, one evening after she had fell asleep. She was 82.
Permanent Historical Record: 04/01/08
Repeating...
As will happen sometimes at the end of a month, DNA posted something yesterday, and just wasn't ready for it to go to the blog graveyard. So, he copied it in its entirety to kick off April. This isn't DNA being lazy. DNA really liked that old post, it was just like a post to him...
So, here it is:
DNA and his wife don't get to watch movies all that often, and when we do, it's rare that we agree on one that we both like. Only a couple of movies we have rented lately, like Stardust, or Enchanted, actually appealed to both of us. I Am Legend appealed a little, until the chick and the kid shows up, but everybody on the internet who tries to express an opinion about movies has already talked about that, so DNA won't add to the search engines' results if someone types in "Will Smith" "Legend" "Ending Sucks Donkey Balls" (yields approximately 20,000 hits).
DNA isn't about movie reviews anyway. What DNA likes in movies most people do not. Also, DNA really likes some movies that are really bad by anyone's approximation. DNA really has no taste in movies. However, music in movies is something that DNA pays close attention to.
DNA has long felt that movie soundtracks were little more than silver marketing machines for bad movies. Does your movie suck? Put a bunch of well-liked classic songs on it, and it becomes a retro collection. Or, gather up a bunch of indie bands dying for a little more mainstream exposure, and you gain street cred for your dogshit movie. But, every once in awhile, the soundtrack makes the movie, or works in perfect harmony (couldn't resist) with the visual elements of the movie.
DNA watched a movie yesterday which sucked. It was called Southland Tales. Don't go see it. It was supposed to be awesome, directed by a visionary director, chock full of the coolest and most unusual ensemble cast, but in a case of David Lynchian proportions of not being able to live up to its hype, it was a two and a half hour weird-a-thon. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but after a little while, seeing the bizarre and only understanding part of why its bizarre gets annoying. As much as you might like vignettes, characters, or individual scenes, the actual movie falls apart. Sure sign a movie sucks dogshit: When one of the characters has to provide a voiceover for most of the movie to make sure the audience "gets" the otherwise convoluted and and unnecessarily quirky, moody and metaphorical plot. DNA doesn't want to spoil it for you, in case you watch it despite this stern warning: DON'T!!! But, some of you might like watching Duane "the Rock" Johnson die. Whoops, sorry about that reveal.
Well, if you watched it, then DNA is sure you agree, it sucked. But, one thing that did not suck was the music. In fact, there is one point, near the end, in which music takes center stage, so to speak. First, Rebekah Del Rio (yes, sounds like a porn star name, but it is not) knocks out a version of the Star Spangled Banner which gives Jimmy Hendrix's version a run for its money as the coolest version ever. DNA ain't lyin. Go to iTunes and look up the soundtrack, and listen to 30 seconds of it. You will be sold. Or watch this scene from the movie:
Also, Sarah Michelle Gellar does a terrific job on a song called "Teen Horniness Is Not A Crime."
It's hard to reinvent a classic, but Rebekah did. What do you think?
Permanent Historical Record: 04/07/08
He's Back!
DNA doesn't spend a lot of time surfing the internet. He has several places he always goes; he always checks on the multi-millions of dollars his music is generating for him on iTunes, CD Baby! and through the Snocap store on the myspace page, for example. He flits about the internet to check out a few blogs, does a random search or two for some porn catchphrases, but always checks back to see one website in particular:
Monstee's Cave
Monstee has a certain take on the world, the take of a blue furry monster who talks like Yoda but every once in a while fucks the knotholes in telephone poles. He's like one of the monsters from the book, "Where the Wild Things Are" if the wild things got stoned and drank a lot of vodka, and instead of doing the bidding of the boy Max from the book, he let Max sleep and buggered his mom downstairs. DNA guesses that would make Monstee a lovable pervert. DNA has known Monstee for many years, and in fact, as DNA has said before, it was Monstee who was primarily responsible for getting him to start his own website.
Monstee had been gone for awhile, but has resumed posting, at least for the time being. Be happy, internet! Monstee is back. You know Monstee has got to be cool if he is the subject of someone else's web comic.
(used without permission. Ripped right from Blunt Cogs if you must know)
Once you're on either Monstee's website or on Blunt Cogs, take some time and look around. You will be glad you did.
DNA wishes he had a web comic. Oh wait, he does....Flamin' Guitars is a comic, and it's on the motherfucking web! So there, everybody else who has a web comic!
Permanent Historical Record: 04/17/08
Inspiration...
DNA has written two songs in the last two weeks. One was inspired by two of his friends getting married. He's not going to debut it until after it is completely done.
This week, DNA has done the songwriting, and needs to get the recording done, on a song inspired by a student he knows at the University. It's called, "I Saw Jared," and as soon as I get the melody right, I will debut it here. DNA thinks it will be getting enough songs done in June/July to complete the next album.
DNA expects that the infamous 4th of July party at Craig and Berts will hold a surprise or two for DNA and his friends....DNA has been inspired to write a song for that, too.
School has been kicking DNA's ass for awhile, so the posts have been pretty thin. DNA is building up a couple of features: One on some new bands he has been listening to, and two on some good old stories of the Carbondale music scene.
So, give DNA a break, check out some of the archives while the current stuff is thin, and at least DNA will try to put up some new band photos on the front page more often (about once a week or so, right now).
Permanent Historical Record: 04/28/08
Just Another Day...
The guys in Oingo Boingo summed it up pretty well, as a statement about the inanities of life, the futility of living. "Just another day" is as chilling as T.S. Elliot's "I have measured out my life in coffee spoons" from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," without being pretentious or hard to approach. Maybe it's more chilling, because people outside of English departments have actually heard of Oingo Boingo. Well, that may not be true anymore. Oingo Boingo aren't really what they used to be.
Was today just another day for you? Really? Well, it wasn't for DNA. Today marks the second anniversary of his mom's death. This weekend, DNA got to do some rock climbing. DNA is fat and out of shape. It's not often mother nature slaps your ass around for it, though. DNA got to meet his new nephew from Nepal, Suresh. DNA's wife's sister, husband, and new son came to visit from Alaska. DNA got to buy cool toys for Suresh. The program where DNA works had its 30th anniversary celebration, in which students and staff from all over the country came back to celebrate being part of a very special group of people. If indeed this was just another day, perhaps it is because any day can be extraordinary. Maybe "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" would be a more apt aphorism, but that seems a little too bi-polar for DNA.
At lunch, DNA wolfed down a big tortilla chip and it got stuck in his throat, too far and too hard to cough back up. The airway was clear, but DNA could feel the little corn shuriken cutting the inside of his throat as it was lodged in there. DNA didn't panic, and tried to swallow some water, but it wasn't budging, and it was hurting. So, DNA tried to chuck it up. In the course of the first heave, as one does, he tightened his throat for the hurl, and heard the chip "crack." Then, it went down, and like the ice berg that ripped the Titanic's hull, the tortilla continued to slice down each side of his esophagus. It really hurt.
After the painful experience, DNA asked his departed mom if that wouldn't have been the strangest shit if he had checked out on the same day as his mom? She didn't respond.
The only thing that separates you from DNA is experience. Our experiences are different, so what is a strange or unusual day for DNA is not for you, or vice versa. Experience is all subjective, it depends on so many things, yet it is the sum of this imperfect information gathering process we call living which makes us saints or serial killers, or both.
Here are a couple of moments in DNA's life, fond recollections of his mom, that might bring a little bit of his experience to you.
DNA's mom was born in 1924. She remembered what the Great Depression was like firsthand. She taught herself to read before she was in kindergarten. She would take the trolley to the Milwaukee Public Library with her sister. She looked over her sister's shoulder while her sister read, and figured it out. She went to the Chicago World's Fair. She was a member of the Women's Air Corps during WWII, and taught pilots how to fly by instruments alone (blind flying) in a LINK trainer in Brownsville, Texas. She worked crossword puzzles her whole life, loved big band music, graduated from college, was divorced in the 1950's, (scandalous) played the upright bass in school, was a stamp collector, was active in her church, loved to unsweetened ice tea from an earthenware mug, and was a chain smoker for most of her life. One day she decided quit smoking, and she did it. That was a small exercise in the willpower she had at her disposal. She was funny, political, probably the smartest person DNA will ever know, but also, at times, too provincial, racially prejudiced in some of her fears, and a little too passive-aggressive.
She had told DNA that early in her life, she had had a conversation with God, and God told her that she would die comfortably in her sleep in her old age. This is kind of a strange conversation to have with your mom, but mom was adamant that just like a phone call, the words had been crystal clear.
Mom died sitting comfortably in her home, in the house she lived in for over 50 years, in her comfy chair, one evening after she had fell asleep. She was 82.
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