Blog Archive

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Here's a bunch of crap from the old year. Even though CD Baby! has got the record, and it was officially produced through all of 2008, it won't be available to buy until 2009. This means that in 2008, despite DNA's best intentions, he did not put a record out. He did play out again, which kind of makes up for it.

Below is the lyric sheet for the new record. Hope you like reading it as much as DNA liked typing it up.

There’s Something On Your Back

There’s something on your back, I think it might be a spider
No, I’m not gonna give it a smack, it might sink its fangs deeper inside you

It might pierce your spinal column, this close to your brain
It might instantly paralyze you, or drive you bat-shit insane

There’s something on your back, yes I know what I’m talking about
Now everyone stay calm, and whatever you do don’t SHOUT

Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back Oh my God

You don’t have to be afraid anymore
It always does what its done before

If there’s something on my back, I guess I’ll just shrug it off
And if it won’t leave with that, I guess I’ll take in for a walk

Yeah there’s something on my back, a burden we all carry around
and I wouldn’t be the same if I laid my burden down

Yeah there’s something on my back, a shadow that I’ve walked through
And I know you don’t want to hear this, but there’s something on your back too!

Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back, Oh my God it’s on your back Oh my God

Oh my God, It’s on your back
Oh my God, It’s on your back
Oh my God, It’s on your back
Oh my God, It’s on your back



The Future Is Rosie

When Rose was born she outshone the sun of a Sunday morning
With hair like flame softer than the flower which bears her name
Her parents love was deep, and while she was fast asleep
They thanked the lord above to be given this girl who would show them the world

Rosie, the future is Rosie
Rosie, the future is Rosie

When Rose was nearly four, she touched the screen of Heaven’s door
She was invited to stay, but decided to come back another day to play
On that fateful day, many people kneeled and prayed
That through hope and faith and love, she would be saved, she was so brave

Rosie, the future is Rosie
Rosie, the future is Rosie

break

Now 20 years have passed, when you want time to slow down, it moves too fast
But when you wanted it to fly everything was standing by
Everything changed that day, but everything changes, either way
Rose is who she wants to be, outshining the sun of a Sunday morning


Rosie, the future is Rosie
Rosie, the future is Rosie
Rosie, the future is Rosie
Rosie, the future is Rosie




Black Monday

The closing bell on Wall Street never sounded so sweet
As is did this afternoon; I’m getting drunk real soon
Half of what we own, I lost on the telephone
What am I going to say, when I see my wife today?

I can just imagine it, tragic as Plantagenet
With murder in her eyes, until she realized
If she kills me there is no way the life insurance will pay
So instead she sits and smiles shedding tears like a crocodile’s

It’s got to look like an accident like I tripped when I knelt and bent
To gather up my paper; they’re gonna need a scraper
To peel me off of that train, at least that’s what I’m praying
Now I hear the bells again, and see a light that looks like Heaven

Now I hear the bells again,
Now I hear the bells again
Now I hear the bells again
And see a light that looks like Heaven




God Made Us Funky

I’m a carton of hate
I’m a wedge of spite
I’m a carton of hate
I’m a wedge of spite
We’re Milk and Cheese, we’re Milk and Cheese,
We’ve both gone bad, we just ain’t right
Our big-ass laffs are too hardcore
You don’t deserve anymore
We’re Milk and Cheese, buy our records please
Our aim’s to sell, so go to hell

Fear us suckers, fear our Truth:
Mindless violence beyond reproof
Are we evil?
So some claim, but Society is to blame!
Start a riot, lose control
We are gods of rock and roll
Give me beer
Give me gin
We’re liquored up so let the mayhem begin

God made us funky!
God made us funky!
God made us funky!
God made us funky!

solo

God made us funky!
God made us funky!
God made us funky!
God made us funky!




Big Bad John

Big John, Big John

Every morning at the mine you could see him arrive
He stood six foot six and weighed 245
Kind of broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip
And everybody knew you didn’t give no lip to Big John

Big John, Big John, Big Bad John

Nobody seemed to know where John called home
He just drifted into town and stayed all alone
Didn’t say much, kind of quiet and shy
And if you spoke at all, you just said hi, to Big John

Somebody said he came from New Orleans
Where he got in a fight over a Cajun queen
A crashin’ blow from a huge right hand
Sent a Louisana fellow to the promised land, Big John

Big John, Big John, Big Bad John

Then came that day at the bottom of the mine
When a timber cracked and men started cryin’
Miners we’re prayin’ their hearts beat fast
And everybody thought that they’d breathed their last, ‘cept John

Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell
Walked a giant of a man the miners knew well
Grabbed a sagging timber, and gave out with a groan
And like a giant oak tree, just stood their alone

Big John, Big John, Big Bad John

solo

With all his strength he gave a mighty shove
Then a miner yelled out, “There’s a light up above!”
Then 20 men scrambled from a would-grave
Now there’s only one left down there to save and that’s John

With jacks and timbers, they started back down
Then came that rumble way down in the ground
Then the smoke and gas belched out of that mine
Everybody knew it was the end of the line for John

Big John, Big John, Big Bad John

Now they never re-opened that worthless pit
They just placed a marble stand in front of it
These few words were written on that stand:

At the bottom of this mine lies one hell of a man: Big John


Big John, Big John, Big Bad John
Big John, Big John, Big Bad John
Big John, Big John, Big Bad John
Big John, Big John, Big Bad John




I Got What I Got

20 years of drugs and drink ain’t hardly slowed me down
But when my fears make me stop and think why I’m still fuckin’ around
See I got no silver spoon just this guitar I detuned to make the girls come
I’m just a regular goon, a workin’ class buffoon, whose done before he’s begun

So when I sidle up to your girl, although you gave her the moon I’m gonna show her the world
And later when she feels the earth begin to heave beneath her feet she’s gonna wonder how I make an earthquake feel so sweet, yeah!

Cuz I got what I got, and I’m gonna get it on
I’m the freak that she’ll seek to make her weak from dusk til dawn
Yeah, I got what I got and man, you got none
So take your best shot, punk, and then I’ll drop you like an atom bomb

Lookin’ back at the things I done, and I shouldn’t a did
Baby I got regrets not one, nothing to forgive
See I’m like a natural force grinding on a course, through your trailer park
There ain’t no stoppin’ this man, I’ll finish what I began, on the hunt after dark

So when I whirl up to your girl, although you gave her the moon I’m gonna show her the world
And later when she feels the earth begin to heave beneath her feet she’s gonna wonder how I make an earthquake feel so sweet, yeah!

Cuz I got what I got, and I’m gonna get it on
I’m the freak that she’ll seek to make her weak from dusk til dawn
Yeah, I got what I got and man, you got none
So take your best shot, punk, and then I’ll drop you like an atom bomb

solo

I got what I got, and I’m gonna get it on
I’m the freak that she’ll seek to make her weak from dusk til dawn
Yeah, I got what I got and man, you got none
So take your best shot, punk, and then I’ll drop you like an atom bomb

Yeah, I got what I got, and I’m gonna get it on
I’m the freak that she’ll seek to make her weak from dusk til dawn
Yeah, I got what I got and man, you got none
So take your best shot, punk, and then I’ll drop you like an atom bomb




Plate Tectonic King

Alfred Wegener, what do you know? Universally despised not long ago. Naysayers ideas withered and died, but your ideas made worlds collide,
By comparative analysis of fossil flora and fauna
Pangea, subsequently, Laurasia and Gondwana,
Continental drift, and polar wandering,
Makes you the plate tectonic king

The plate tectonic king

Some of Wegener’s ideas were wrong, like ocean floors which continents plowed along
He couldn’t explain how the continents moved, and so his theories were ignored or disproved
But new evidence provided by paleomagnetism, rock matches on each side of the Atlantic schism, along with new theories, like sea floor spreading,
Makes you the plate tectonic king

The plate tectonic king

Ridge push, slab pull, convection in the lithosphere, magnetic reversals and anomalies, divergent, convergent, and transform boundaries, ocean drilling and satellite photos seem pretty clear

That convection currents in the mantle rock, bring the hot mantle up to the top.
Mid-oceanic ridges are caused by rising flow, ocean trenches plunge the cold rock below
The distribution of volcanoes and earthquakes explained, mantle plumes and Hotspots raising islands in long chains, the theory of plate tectonics remains especially appealing,
Which makes you the plate tectonic king

The plate tectonic king
The plate tectonic king
Alfred Wegener, what do you know?
The plate tectonic king
Alfred Wegener, what do you know?
The plate tectonic king




I Saw Jared

I saw Jared walkin’ down the hall, big man on campus he was walkin’ tall
Jared’s been around he knows a thing or two about walkin’ in another person’s shoes

I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and he helped me see things through
I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and if you look you’ll see him too

A G-man from back on the block, Jared walks the walk while others talk the talk
He loves his family and he loves his school, tries to do no wrong, keeps the golden rule

I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and he helped me see things through
I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and if you look you’ll see him too

break

He knows this campus like the back of his hand, through the valley of the shadow he fears no man, seeking his reward in the Promised Land, hold his feet to the fire and he might get a tan

If you see Jared, you should call his name, he’s a friend to all he treats all the same.
If you feel like you’re carrying a heavy load, you just walked a block down Jared’s road.


I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and he helped me see things through
I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and if you look you’ll see him too
I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and he helped me see things through
I saw Jared, I saw Jared, I saw Jared, and if you look you’ll see him too




It Could Have Been Worse

In the 21st Century people live in harmony
Free from gravity and economic calamity
‘Least that’s what the futurists dreamed in 1953
But in 2008 things don’t seem so great
Throwing everything away here this morning and gone today

But it could have been worse
Yes, it could have been worse
Well, it could have been worse,
Of course it could have been….

Glass cities floating in the sky, cold fusion powered apple pie
Living with instead of against, all of Nature’s consequence
But when we made ourselves to be Masters of everything we see
We screwed the pooch and in a mighty flash, spaceship Earth is gonna crash
More effective than a bomb, we consume until it’s gone

But it could have been worse
Yes, it could have been worse
Well, it could have been worse,
Of course it could have been….

solo

Here comes global climate change mass extinctions on its way

But it could have been worse
Yes, it could have been worse
Well, it could have been worse,
Of course it could have been….




It Got Worse

It got worse, before it got better but it got better, eventually
And if it gets worse again, it will probably get better again,
And if it doesn’t well there’s never any guarantee.

Living every moment afraid, I don’t feel like a man anymore
If you gave me a shovel and called it a grave,
At least I’d know why I was down in this hole

It got worse, before it got better but it got better, eventually
And if it gets worse again, it will probably get better again,
And if it doesn’t well there’s never any guarantee.

Once I get past a certain point, I’d rather be dead than feel the way I feel
Unfurl the shroud and with oil anoint
Roll the stone so the tomb is sealed

Sometimes it’s alright, when I’m self indulgent and petrified
To feel lonely, but never alone
Cuz I remember who is by my side.

break

They say that it’s darkest before the dawn, that’s like saying you live as your last breath’s drawn
If you live like every day might be your last, then no matter what dawn comes too fast

Sometimes it’s alright, when I’m self indulgent and petrified
To feel lonely, but never alone
Cuz I remember who is by my side.

Sometimes it’s alright, when I’m self indulgent and petrified
To feel lonely, but never alone
Cuz I remember who is by my side.

Sometimes it’s alright

To feel lonely, but never alone




Possessed

Oh baby, it’s time to exorcise your demons
Bottled up inside only one way to free them
So baby, lay down and take off your clothes
And we’ll loose those bounds make you lose control

And when you feel me comin’ in, then you’ll feel them comin’ out
And when you feel me come again, it’ll make you want to shout, say

Yeah! Say yeah! Say yeah! Say yeah!

You never know when those demons might rise
If they infest you again, and possess your thighs
You know I got the cure when you’ve got the itch
You can rest assured when you feel that twitch

And when you feel me comin’ in, then you’ll feel them comin’ out
And when you feel me come again, it’ll make you want to shout, say

Yeah! Say yeah! Say yeah! Say yeah!

I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Be healed. Praise God!

Let loose your cries, let me hear your pleas
Reaching to the skies, from your bended knees
When it’s feeling strong, but your feeling weak,
Girl it won’t take long, to turn your other cheek

And when you feel me comin’ in, then you’ll feel them comin’ out
And when you feel me come again, it’ll make you want to shout, say

Yeah! Say yeah! Say yeah! Say yeah!




You Call My Name

You call my name---you call my name
A moth to a flame can’t explain
The spiral in, out of control
Yet predictable, how it all ends

Blinded, burned, battered, bruised,
Bound by the Devil’s tongue
What else do I have to lose?
Everything, it’s just begun.

I’ve seen this road, been down it before
Never want it no more, cuz I know where it goes
Even though I swore, I’d never see it again
Yet here I am where the road ends

Shackled, shorn, shattered, shamed
I’ve go no one else to blame
Once you hear the siren’s call
Nothing ever sounds the same

I’m so low
I’m so low
I’m so low
I’m so low

You call my name
And I reply
You call my name
Even though I tgry
You call my name
To resist your cry
You call my name
You are not denied
You call my name
You call my name
You call my name
You call my name

Blinded, burned, battered, bruised,
Bound by the Devil’s tongue
What else do I have to lose?
Everything, it’s just begun.
Shackled, shorn, shattered, shamed
I’ve go no one else to blame
Once you hear the siren’s call
Nothing ever sounds the same

You call my name
You call my name
You call my name
You call my name
You call my name
You call my name





The Ballad Of Theo And Marian

She’s from Toronto, by way of Ghana, when she was eight she had to leave her mama
He’s from the southland, from Tennessee, he was adopted as a baby
She grew up right, she grew up strong, sings like an angel, runs all day long
He dearly loved his family, when old enough served in the Navy

And if you were there when they met, then you’d a heard me say:
The way they fight it must be love, he’s gonna marry her someday

When they first met at work, she thought he was a jerk
She ran track at SIU, he tipped back a beer or two
She had like four degrees, he liked to cut the cheese
She liked to sing at church, he played Xbox after work

And, oh yeah, there was this other thing among the differences that I found
Something night and day, so obvious you’d see if you were around
Something about color, that always seemed to hound
I think it was their eyes see his were blue and hers were brown.

And if you were there then you’d have seen their fire become a light
and I said, “Now’s your chance, ‘fore it’s too late, you better marry that girl tonight!”

So here we stand to witness in, their bond of marriage, Theo and Marian
In sickness and in health, in poverty, or in wealth
So raise your glass, and make your toast,
Bestow your gifts, honor them the most
We wish you many years of happiness, may your union be forever blest

And for all time, should anyone consider or wonder:
What God consecrated, let no man ever sunder




The Simple Pleasures

So you say you like to live on the edge
Your margin for error is pretty thin
What are you compensating for?
What childhood void still needs filled in?
Why do you nearly die, before you feel alive?
Why are you in the mess you’re in?

You swam the raging rivers
Crossed the Great Divide
Camped on the side of an erupting volcano
Climbed the highest mountainside
And even though the air is rarified up there
Our living’s done down here below

Earth’s greatest treasures
The simple pleasures

Like how you feel the first time your baby laughs
Or how you feel everytime he cries
Finding an insect on a blade of grass
You’ve never seen before even though you’ve looked a thousand times
Smelling coffee, eating toffee
With every breath you’re glad to be alive

Earth’s greatest treasures
The simple pleasures

solo


Earth’s greatest treasures
The simple pleasures

Earth’s greatest treasures
The simple pleasures

Earth’s greatest treasures
The simple pleasures




All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash

All I want for Christmas is a whole lotta cash
That’s what I want, so give it to me, man,
And if you don’t, I’ll take it if I can
And if you think, that sounds a little selfish,
Then kiss my ass, cuz this is my wish,

But,

I’d settle for less, like love and human kindness
But I won’t get that shit, cuz the world’s a mess
So, instead I’ll pray, that God will come down and say
That “I gave you all one chance, and now you’re going away.”

All I want for Christmas is a whole lotta cash
To be an Indy when there is a terrible crash
200 horny women, and no itchy rash
To smoke a bowl with all my friends who dipped into my stash
All I want for Christmas is a whole lotta cash,

But,

I’d settle for less, like love and human kindness
But I won’t get that shit, cuz the world’s a mess
So, instead I’ll pray, that God will come down and say
That “I gave you all one chance, and now you’re going away.”

My holiday spirit, don’t want to get near it
My Merry Christmas just can’t resist this
Like Mary Typhoid’s sickness, I’m

Infected, I’m infected, to tell the truth about today I been
Selected, I been selected, and if you listen very long you’ll feel
Corrected, you’ll fell corrected, what do you mean my mastercard has been
Rejected? Let me inspect it. Maybe the magnetic strip has been
Affected. Ahh yes, American Express, Express, will end my
Distress, distress, so I can buy some useless shit, cuz I
Need some, yeah I need some, well now pity that poor fucker, he ain’t
Getting’ none, he ain’t getting’ none, now it’s time for Dave to play
Cuz this song is done, cuz this song is done, oh yeah!




You Didn’t Know

You didn’t know
You didn’t know
It was the last day that you would see me, cuz I had to go
If there’d been another way, believe me, that’s the way I would have chose

You didn’t know
You didn’t know
When I shut the door behind me that moment was our last
The game was over months beforehand, when the final die were cast

You didn’t know
You didn’t know

break
solo

You didn’t know
You didn’t know
Even though I held your hands in my hands, ignorance isn’t bliss
Good-bye this morning meant forever, betrayed by a kiss

You didn’t know
You didn’t know
You didn’t know
You didn’t know
You didn’t know
You didn’t know

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

The Hand Of God Attachment Was Otherwise Occupied...

Well, this week, DNA had to face the unpleasant truth that other people need the help of the Hand Of God more than DNA does. H.O.G. had to avert a world disaster, and via email, gave me his blessing to rock the fuck out all by myself.

DNA did his best, and though it is a pale reflection of the glory of the H.O.G., since it was done in reverence, it is good. And, more importantly, the record is DONE.

If you have followed this blog for any length of time, you know that DNA has had a hard time titling this record. A new title would come down the pike every week. A couple of weeks back, the "final" title was "The Chimerical Odyssey From Obscurity To Ubiquity of the DNA Vibrators." This is no longer the title.

What, you say? That totally awesome title is no longer the title? What, did you find a string of syllables that were even more inflated and propped up by their self-importance? No, you couldn't, could you?

This is why the title was abandoned. The new title is simpler, more to the point, and more accurate: "From Obscurity To Global Domination In Three EASY Steps"

16 songs. A couple are actually good. They'll be in the mail to CDBaby! this week, and hopefully bringing DNA in the big bucks off of iTunes by the end of January.

How does DNA know that H.O.G. was averting world disaster? Simple. Was there a world disaster today? No? Ergo, H.O.G. averted disaster.

What are the three EASY steps for a band to go from obscurity to global domination? Write DNA with your answer, and if it is right, you will get a FREE copy of the new CD.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Tis The Season...

To make some kick ass rock and roll music. The new record is nearly done. DNA has 16 songs ready to go, but would really like to try to get two more done. He has no deadline, other than his own----the world can spin to hell and back, and DNA won't care. But, he would like to get the record done before the New Year. It is still possible. Everything is possible with the H.O.G. at your side.

DNA thinks that the final title of the record will be "The Unlikely Ascendence From Obscurity To Ubiquity of The DNA Vibrators."

Oh, here's a little Christmas present:


"All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash"


This song was one of the first recorded by the DNA Vibrators back in 1994. A brand new, not quite yet ready to go version of this song will be on the new record.