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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Snowstorms, Chicago, and Rosati's Pizza


Rosati's Pizza


On a recent business trip, DNA had to go to Chicago. As per his hellish ritual, he would drive for hours, do a presentation, and then drive for hours again to stay with his friend, Mr. Kamikaze and his family. After the event, a freak snowstorm blew up in the burbs and would have stranded DNA somewhere on I-270 unless he found a place to stay for the night. DNA had to abandon one element of the ritual, and called Mr. Kamikaze and told him to prepare to be disappointed, cuz DNA couldn't make it. The vague outline of a Hampton Inn glowed behind the white obscurity, and once DNA was settled, he performed the last rite of the ritual: Call a local pizza joint, and prepare to judge their product. If it is deemed worthy, then legend has it, that Jesus will visit their pizza joint in the guise of a beggar and if he is treated with kindness, then you can rub his belly and get three wishes.

So, DNA called a promising looking pizza place, Rosati's Pizza. The picture above is not a picture of the pizza DNA ordered, but it is from a Rosati's Pizza. DNA ordered a cheese and sausage pizza. On the LaRoma's Pizza Nirvana Quotient (LPNQ) Rosati's rated about an 81%, which is not bad. DNA should not have ordered the sausage, because he thought the sausage was just a little too much, and he imagines that if the sausage had not been there, Rosati's plain cheese would have rated about a 92% on the LPNQ. So, if Jesus does hang out by your dumpsters later this month, Rosati's guys, remember, rub his belly. An 81% might get you a wish or two (but probably not three).

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