Permanent Historical Record: 12/01/07
Deck The Halls...
...with shitloads of DNA songs, fa la la la la, la la la la. The Akkademiks record is currently going through its final art design, which means in a few days, it will be for sale at all of the expected online retailers. Give the gift of DNA's music this holiday season. Enjoy the FREE download of "All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash.
All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash
What is on your Christmas list?
Permanent Historical Record: 12/07/07
Happy Birthday To...Everybody!
In DNA's family, there is no less than 9 people with birthdays within 10 days of Christmas: DNA, his sister, all three of his kids, his mother-in-law, his wife's sister, his wife's step-mother, and a cousin or two.
When DNA was a kid, the parents made sure that birthday and Christmas did not melt together. After all, if a kid was born on February 10th, people don't wait until the 14th to get him a present, and then say it is for both birthday and Valentine's Day, do they?
DNA has tried extra hard to keep the kids' birthdays distinct, even for his twin daughters: two cakes, two sets of candles, two songs, separate presents, the whole deal.
The unintended benefit of the particular date of DNA's birthday is that it always happens during finals week at SIU, and as the years have marched on by, DNA thinks less and less about his actual birthday because of work related issues, unless it is for something special, like this.
DNA always had a ritual on his birthday, to call his Mom and wish her the Happy Birthday. After all, it was her doing, on that day, many years ago, that merited celebrating. DNA felt that a birthday celebration should be about honoring the Mom who brought you in to the world.
It's been a year and a half since DNA's mom died. This is the second year that DNA hasn't made that call to his Mom, and talked to her about her recollection of this day, when she was in the hospital in labor with DNA.
To the lady who gave birth to DNA, to the lady who named DNA's first real band, to the lady who gave DNA the permission to try a life of music, even though it may be hard or fruitless, and didn't think that was a waste, to that lady, Happy Birthday.
Permanent Historical Record: 12/08/07
Selling Well Is Selling Out?
This is a topic that DNA spent some time thinking about a long time ago, about the time Metallica's "Black" album came out. Many die hard Metallica fans said that the band had sold out, that Bob Rock succeeded in making them slick and radio friendly, and the trade off for that was the band's musical integrity.
DNA was not one of those people. DNA always thought that old Metallica's stuff sounded too thin, because the bass was nonexistent. You heard guitars, and the click of the noise gate on the kick drum, and vocals, but not much else. Bob Rock brought something that the band needed: the orchestral pyramid.
What is the orchestral pyramid? It is a simple concept really, that low end concert instruments form the base of a pyramid, and everything else is written to fit on top of them. In this concept, the bass isn't buried, it forms all of the structure on which the rest of a song must stand. The bass instruments generally have to be larger, be of greater number, and possess greater power than the other instruments in order to be appreciated as the foundation of most music.
Bob Rock understood the orchestral pyramid. He gave Metallica the bass foundation it needed. Along the way, if that made Metallica more "listenable" to a wider audience, so be it. That's not selling out, that's selling, period.
If you were to ask almost any musician what his or her goal as a musician is, it would be to get his or her music heard by as many people as possible. If an artist actually does this, though, those fans who initially supported the band through the lean times become resentful, as if they were taken for granted by the band that is no longer exclusively "theirs."
Years ago, DNA was inspired to write the song,
"Selling Well Is Selling Out?"
in which DNA postulates: "Selling well is selling out? Selling well is selling out? Making money doesn't mean Fuck my public! It just means that now you're getting paid for having fun. Isn't that what you wanted, man, when it's all said and done? Fuck Yeah!"
DNA hadn't thought about the topic for some time, until last week, when reading some of the comments to some story on Cracked.com, when a group of commenters used characters from the movie, Anchorman, as avatars, and started responding to people's commentary with lines from the movie.
DNA didn't think much about it, until the vehement replies from other commenters started to roll in. Usually the comments were very sarcastic and biting, like "I sure hope somebody starts quoting Ron Burgundy soon, because that is soooo funny when a person attempts to be cool by quoting lines from Anchorman."
Here is an actual quote from a poster: "Anchorman sucks, Stop quoting it. There I said it. I'd rather read the Bible any day over watching the severe beating that was Anchorman. You fucked up Will Ferrell, you gave the kid posting Anchorman quotes something to live for. He should have killed himself already. Do you not realize what you've done?"
Now, DNA never really gives commenters who post on somewhat amusing websites, or actually, commenters who comment on other people's comments, much credence. But, web commenting in general is an interesting phenomenon. DNA believes it is an actual new form of communication. It's a way to take all of the snide, bitchy, redundant, rude, condescending, hateful, and idiotic ranting that until the advent of the internet, was kept as an interior voice only, and make it externalized. The internet allows commenters to take over threads in personal wars, to engage in dimestore philosophy in which no one can claim authority, because every commenter has the same legitimacy. If you have ever left a web comment, you know what DNA is talking about. You stake your claim, you put your take on it out there, and when someone else comments about how you missed the point, you get righteously indignant because that moron so fucking missed YOUR point, and so on.
This is why forums and comments usually break down into polemic diatribes, name calling, and douchebaggery.
This Anchorman thing made me reassess the whole selling out concept in light of the new communication model. You see, we all have done this, quoting from a movie or a book we like, particularly when it has a shared meaning among a group of friends. Among that intimate group of pals, those comments cement you together. In a public forum, they make you a dick. The commenters complaints about people quoting from Anchorman aren't really about the movie, Anchorman. It has much more to do with the fact that a small group of people, who all use Anchorman avatars, have made the comment sections of articles on Cracked.com their bitch. It is no longer the anonymous way for idiots to converse with geniuses, and sound smarter in the process. It became the Anchorman commenters' private joke. Of course, nobody else in the forum liked it. It goes like this: "I don't get to be in on your joke? Fuck you." Or, probably sometimes: "I didn't think of it first? Fuck you." Or, more to the point of my comparison to selling out: "Anchorman is my thing. I liked Will Ferrell before Talladega Nights. I am a real fan. Fuck you."
The only comments section of a website that DNA read regularly was from the old Pointless Waste Of Time website, which is now the Cracked.com forums. The moderator, David Wong, grasped the value of open forum, highly moderated debate. As soon as the diatribes and personal attacks start, Wong boots the commenter from the thread. This keeps the threads very readable, and represents the opposite communication of what most comment sections or forums actually broker.
Did Will Ferrell sell out? Does Anchorman sell out? Have people commenting on people who use Anchorman avatars sold out? Has DNA sold out? If selling out means reaching a wider audience, then, yes, yes, yes, and never, baby!
By the way, remember to contribute to the "DNA record in every stocking by Christmas" campaign this holiday season.
Permanent Historical Record: 12/11/07
Time For Another Myoo-SICK Revue
It's been a week or two, and it is time again for another DNA Myoo-SICK Revue. Instead of taking potshots at passing supertankers (Tila Tequila and The Hollywood Undead), DNA is going to narrow the focus a little bit, and do a review of some local talent. Carbondale has always been a fertile ground for new music. The Carbondale Nightlife does a great job of highlighting new local talent, and will review records in a more holistic way than does DNA. The whole idea is that whether you like the music or not, these guys are out there making it, and deserve respect.
What approach should be taken? Surely, the reviewer shouldn't talk down to his subject, or treat the local guys as lame just because they are local. DNA got that attitude a lot when he was in bands years ago. Some band from Austin could suck balls, but, man, they were from Austin, and we can see you local fuckers anytime...Also, if you talk about a band like they are meaningful, it might be because they are good, and it might be that others will think of local bands with a more global perspective. Also, a lot of reviewers try not to compare a band to another band in a review, because it is a stereotypical short cut, and also because reviewers tend to see those kinds of reviews as juvenile, and not representative of the band or a good way to showcase their own literary and musical knowledge. DNA says FUCK that. Sometimes, saying a band sounds like so and so works.
Innovation occurs in the cul-de-sacs, in the backwaters, in the places that are relatively untouched by the constant push of the raging rivers. In these incestuous little pools, single voices can shape or change the bigger picture. Unfortunately, but inevitably, as bands become more regional, and less local, their ability to affect that pool is necessarily diminished. Once a band gets to a certain level, they no longer swim in those tepid waters. Presented here, now, is a band firmly sitting in the silt-y mud of a forgotten bank of the Big Muddy River outside of Carbondale, and we in Carbondale are all the better for it. The Dammit Boys.
Many of the band's compositions show the strong influence of surf, rockabilly, and the kind of white trash rock that would make the guys in Monster Magnet proud. The Dammit boys would probably be blessed as the appropriate music for the sacrament during a sermon by the Reverend Horton Heat. What DNA thinks most people miss is that there is something else thrown in there, some European gypsy-king vagabond element that transcends the typical genres like garage, or punk, in which the Dammit Boys get dumped. Not that they musically resemble Camper Van Beethoven, but like Camper in spirit, they capture the feeling of old world mystery in a very hard to define way. The cut "Toluene" is a fine example of this fusion. The Bustos blood, originating from the Castille area in Northern Spain, must be running heavily in the veins of lead singer and guitarist, Mortimer Bustos.
Some people in music scenes are larger than life. Mortimer is one of those guys. He has a voice that is reminiscent of Tom Waits, but Mort is not trying to emulate Waits at all. He uses his voice the way true vocalists use their voices: with the understanding that the voice is an instrument with a range that all other musical instruments only pay homage to. Although DNA first met Mort as a bass player, DNA has seen Mort play guitar, on which he shines. If frozen dog shit in a coffee can was an instrument, Mort could pick that up and play the dog shit out of it, literally and figuratively.
Mort is pretty fucking cool. Judge for yourself
(pic of mort). But, he isn't alone. Dave Marquis, the bassist for the Dammit Boys, is quiet, reserved, disarmingly quick of wit, and kick ass on the bass. Not kick butt, not, could punch you in the face if you weren't expecting it, not open hand slap your chest until your tits turn red, but KICK ASS. Overly flashy? No. Unassumingly adding the brass knuckles to the fist of the Dammit Boys? Hell, yes.DNA doesn't mean to slight Dave Raymond or Time Beaty, the other guitarist and drummer, respectively, of the Dammit Boys by not heaping up their praises. Although DNA has known those guys for some time, he never had the pleasure to get to know them better than as a gawking spectator to their fucking onstage awesomeness.
If it sounds like DNA is a little biased towards the Dammit Boys, maybe cuz he knows them, or something, then you would be wrong. There are lots of bands that DNA likes a lot. Bands like DEVO. Now, the Dammit Boys are not like DEVO. See how this proves DNA is not biased?
Actually, DNA did some objective, experimentation with the music of the Dammit Boys in an attempt to limit the influence of DNA's own history with these guys. DNA played 20 songs at random from his iPod. Then he listened to the Dammit Boys. Then DNA asked himself: Whose voice sounded cooler? What song rocked more? When you hear "Sky Hammer," you can imagine the sweat dripping off of Mort's face as greasy bodies are swaying in the 70's euphoria that leaks from that song like smoke from a raunchy old bong. Seriously, DNA put the iPod on shuffle and started to compare bands. Now, by chance, the iPod cued up the song "Rock Your Ass" by the Supersuckers first, which was a shitty place to be if you were the Dammit Boys! Nobody rocks out with their cocks out the way the Supersuckers do. That was a tough draw for the Dammit Boys right out of the gate. But, OK Go? Dammit boys smoked 'em. Wolfmother? Made 'em wanna run home to momma. Coldplay? Didn't wanna play anymore. In short, the Dammit Boys' records are worth buying. So. You. Go buy them.
From the opening line of "The Mind Snare," you too, feel like you "could walk right through this wall." The song evokes the heady feeling you might have had the first time you listened to the Doors if you were 19 in 1969---and weren't in Vietnam. On their myspace page, the band writes that this song is an example of some of the new stuff they are working on. Their new compositions reflect their continuing growth as musicians, technically and intuitively.
As usual, DNA did some internet searching, and found these interesting tidbits: Unlike the two huge myspace sensations DNA has reviewed previously, in the first three hits on Google, DNA found a review of the band, y'know, like you would expect, if the band were actually a working band. This was the first good sign. Next, reading some of the reviewers unsolicited responses to a show was also positive, such as, "if Mort and I were in prison together I'd definitely want to be his bitch."
Pros: A unique vibe that isn't exactly any of the categories in which it is placed.
Cons: Those turned off by garage rock or surf or rockabilly might give them a pass, which is their loss.
Pros: When you listen to them, you are probably drunk, or getting there.
Cons: You can't capture the contradictory minor key depression that weeps through Mort's guitar playing in the midst of power punk energy very well on a CD.
Pros: The name, evoking the aggravation of an older Dad, yelling at those no good kids getting into who knows what behind the woodshed�
Check out the Dammit Boys the next time you are in Carbondale. You won�t be disappointed.
Permanent Historical Record: 12/17/07
For Everything, A Season....
For DNA, the Christmas season is a special time of year. In December, it's his birthday (well, the current tool of the DNA Vibrator's birthday, but you get DNA's drift), all of DNA's kids are born in December (that sounds like a lot---it's only three, but by Chinese standards, makes DNA a rutting pig), several relatives' birthdays, yadda, yadda, yadda.
It is a time of creative birth, as well. Musically, DNA's first new project in years, "The Shape Of Things To Have Come And Gone," was unofficially done last December (final mix done in January, sent to distribution in February, became the new national anthem of Douchebagistan in March), and his latest two projects, The Akkademiks' first record, "The Akkademiks....ROCK!" and the newly mixed old recordings of the Nightsoil Coolies, entitled "Libertini," were finished this month. The very second DNA record, from 112 years ago, "Unnatural Selection," was done one December, too. The Coolies' first and second studio releases, "Demockery" and "Idiodyssey," respectively, were completed in December, and Monster Truck's second studio recording, "Untitled Demo" was completed over the twang of Sagittarius' arrows. Some of CRANK's soundcore demo was completed in December, as was the rough mix of the CD "Garlic" as well. Though not all are included here, DNA counts about 15 recordings he has finished in December.
It is a good bet that next week, DNA is gonna write some music. DNA has about 15 turds ready to polish, the first one already sitting, brown and smelly, on the front page of this website.
Maybe this is a special time in DNA's life cycle, in which the stars align, his body's rhythm's are in sync with his universal energies, his....
Nah, fuck that. This just happens to be Christmas break. When DNA was a student, this was the only time he could go to the studio. Now that he works like a bitch for the man, this is the only time the burgeois whip is off his back long enough to remember what it was like to dream.
For everything, a season. What's that? Sounds like the man getting his whip back out. Aw, fuck.
Be sure to check the music download page over the next few days. All of the album "Libertini" and its artwork will be available for free for download.
Merry Christmas! Special prize to anyone who can decipher the intent of the new Coolies' record's title. It, of course, follows a general pattern of previous Coolies' records' titles.
Permanent Historical Record: 12/27/07
My Girl Is The Awesome-est.......
Want Proof? During this nice holiday break, knowing that the kids are hellions, knowing that we kept Spazz jr. off his meds, knowing that the day would likely be a 12 hour shouting match, she let me saunter off to Carbondale for the day to work on a song.
You just don't get chicks like that in your life very often. DNA is glad he married this one before she knew his horrible secret, and that she is honorable enough to keep her marriage vow even after she learned the truth.
Okay, DNA has no horrible secrets. He's just a likable loser. Okay, okay. Just a loser.
You can go back to front page to check out the new demo, or you wait a moment, read the story behind the song, and then click the link that follows. The song is called "There's Something On Your Back." It was inspired by the true story of Mr. Kamikaze's irrational fear of bugs. One day, last summer, as Mr. Kamikaze and his family were visiting DNA's humble household, we were out late. We packed up the families and went to the drive-in. When we got home, Mr. Kamikaze and DNA were outside DNA's front door. As often happens in buggy southern Illinois, lots of flying bugs were attracted to the porch light.
This happens everywhere, right? Sure, but southern Illinois is special. It has bugs like a malaria laden swamp, bugs that use the Everglades as their training ground in the winter for what they plan on doing in southern Illinois over the summer. In fact, southern Illinois has bugs like a malaria laden swamp because it is one of the few places in America where there are malaria laden swamps. Yes, malaria. It's like when you cross interstate 64, you drop back in time a hundred years, and drop a couple of dozen IQ points while you're at it. Malaria. What the fuck, are we in Peru? Do the natives have access to quinine?
Fun Fact: Outside of the subtropical south, southern Illinois has one of the few cypress swamps in the country. Weird, huh?
Anyway, bugs, bugs, everywhere, all looking at you like food or transportation. One bug found a nice place in the middle of DNA's back to rest. Instead of flicking it off DNA's back, or calmly letting DNA know that a bug was on his back, Mr. Kamikaze about popped a blood vessel shouting, "Oh my God, it's on your back!"
DNA asked, "What's on my back?"
Mr. Kamikaze was nearly frozen in place, despite the heat and the sweat dripping from his face. "I don't know," he said, as he stifled the crack of horror in his voice.
"Well, knock it off or something." DNA didn't like having "something" on his back, but knew he needed to stay calm, particularly if the "something" could sting or bite him. Also, the fact that Mr. Kamikaze was nearly doubled over in a spasm of terror, a grown man, reacting like someone just shoved a stick of dynamite up his ass and lit the fuse, was too funny not to try to prolong.
"Are you fucking crazy??!!" Mr. Kamikaze screeched. I'm not gonna touch it!"
"Well," DNA said, with nearly British aplomb, "It's nice to know just what defines our friendship. Bug on your back? Looks like it could sting you? Sorry, fucker, you're on your own."
"Dude," Mr. Kamikaze pleaded for understanding, which he really, really wanted, no, needed, because he was so rattled by this miniature monster digging into my spine that he called DNA 'dude,' "I'm sorry, I just can't. I mean, if you could only look at it---fuck, it's huge!"
"Hey, man, it's okay. Nobody can do more than they can do. It's been nice knowing you. You might want to step back...." and with that, DNA grabbed the seams on the shoulders of his shirt, and gave a quick jerk. The cicada which had landed on his back flopped to the ground, and with its devilish siren, shrieked skyward to join its brothers for their 17-year coming out party.
Now, DNA could say a million times, "You should have seen his face," but, you should have seen his face! We laughed for a long time afterwards, playing through goofier and goofier scenarios in which we each approached that line in the sand. On this side of the line, you do anything for your friend. On that side, you say, "Fuck, I hope he makes it."
Soon after that, DNA had the idea for this song. It just took a little while to get the time to record it.
There's Something On Your Back
Finishing the demo of this song is about the best Christmas present DNA could ask for.
Starting this blog post, DNA is closing down the guestbook. Spammers hit it about 10 to 1 to actual guests. Most of the spam is now porn. DNA, nor his kids, need that up on this site. So, if you want to contact DNA about a blog post, do so through email.
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