June is over. DNA feels like he is sleeping less and less, and spending more and more time fighting cats hand to hand, crying in his car, and talking to Jesus. Wow. That sounds pretty fucked up, now that DNA sees it in print. Perhaps professional help is required. Too bad the doctor is OUT. June saw the completion of several songs, and DNA's new record creeping to completion. Perhaps by this time next month, DNA will be singing a different tune!
Permanent Historical Record: 07/01/08
Important News!!!
In the last week or so, a local Carbondale girl, a person DNA has known since before she was born, Rosie, was mauled by a dog. She very nearly died, but has survived, and is doing very well. For those interested, please check out Reach Out To Rosie.
A recent article regarding her experience and her recovery is here.
The good folks and Thomas Publishing and the Carbondale Nightlife are also putting on a benefit concert for Rosie, at the Hangar 9 in Carbondale, IL, on Saturday, August 9th. Among the Carbondale music scene luminaries, it will be the honor of the DNA Vibrator and the Hand of God Attachment, and possibly, drum majorette, Taz, to play a few songs and express our love for Rosie and the Gordon family. We hope to see you there. DNA guarantees an unusual musical evening will be had, which will include laughing, crying, gnashing of teeth, funky dancing, children singing, computers, and maybe even robots.
Oh, DNA will probably end up with about 15 songs on the new record, one of which will be a little song for Rosie.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/09/08
Hard Work!!!
You may have noticed, that DNA is not posting as much, nor isn't nearly as funny as he used to be. Others have lamented this to DNA, but DNA says that it's all relative. When it comes to funny, when it comes to frequency, it just depends on your point of view. For example, this is the first internet. If this were the 30th or 40th internet, then you might have a basis for your argument about the incidence of funny or frequency of posts, depending on the behaviors of users of the previous internets. What if the last internet only published stories about slicing people's tongues with paper or getting poked in the eyes with razor blades? See? There is nothing funny about that, ever. What if the last internet only allowed 4 posts for your entire life (they generally were [for guys] 1. First boner story, 2. First time you touched a girl who wasn't related to you story, 3. How you could be the ruler of the universe if you just really wanted to, and 4. Is this all there is? Fuck)? Well, then, DNA has posted lifetimes worth of funny, funny, shit on the internet by those standards.
As DNA has said previously, school and work are really taking a toll on his internet time. But classes for the Ph.D. go well, and work has been hectic, but rewarding. In fact, the only aspect of DNA's life which is like a lodestone is this fucking blog....
Not really. DNA loves it too!
Although school and work have been hard, DNA has also been hard at work preparing for some songs he will play for the Rock out for Rosie benefit. He just finished a remake of "All I Want For Christmas Is A Whole Lotta Cash" which will definitely be on the new record once H.O.G. can work his magic on it. Also, DNA wrote a song just for Rosie, called "The Future Is Rosie," and will hopefully put the finishing touches on a song called "I Got What I Got [and I'm Gonna Get It On]" as well. H.O.G. seems up for the challenge of also doing "Whole Lotta Rosie" by AC/DC, and if we can sneak Spazz, jr. into the club, we'll do a song by the Gorillaz, too.
Like DNA said, Hard Work, but, worth it.
What if this is the 40th version of the internet and we just didn't know it?
Permanent Historical Record: 07/21/08
For the Thousands...
of you who have been checking out the blog and seeing nothing new, DNA apologizes. This little shining point of light in your otherwise obsidian void of a universe must seem like it's winking out, but it's not. Grad school is kicking DNA's ass, along with lots of other things he has complained about recently.
Tomorrow, if DNA can steal the time, he will post some of the new songs he has been working on, especially for the show on August 9th. You know, if you live in Oregon, it only takes 22 hours to drive to Carbondale. You could decide, on the morning of August 8th, that this was something that you shouldn't miss (you would be right). You could still make the show, and sleep for two hours, too! DNA is talking to YOU, Tony Stairway!
(Okay, his name isn't actually Tony Stairway, but he knows exactly who he is---how many other people have that nickname?)
So, if you live way closer than that, my Chicago friends, hop in your Corvettes or your Volvos and drive yourself down for a great time. Even if the DNA Vibrators suck, it would still be like climbing Everest on a cloudy day---shitty view, but worth the effort.
Permanent Historical Record: 07/22/08
New Stuff...
As DNA promised, here's the new song he's been working on (in case you missed it on the front page):
I Got What I Got
This is what happens when you listen to the Supersuckers a lot and you have a brother who really is like a tornado.
We will definitely be playing this song at the show on August 9th. The new DNA record will be coming out shortly after that. It will depend entirely on when the Hand Of God can come in a do some solo work. As you may have noticed on this recording, DNA's guitar solo is crap.
Twin Rockets Are A Go, Baby! the BOOK!
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What's new with the DNA Vibrator
If you would like to have ALL of the releases of The DNA Vibrators for FREE, please click on this addresss: https://thednavibrators.bandcamp.com/
DNA wrote a book! "Twin Rockets Are A Go, Baby!" and it is now officially for sale
DNA's educational side project, The Akkademiks, has been selling like hotcakes on CD Baby and iTunes. DNA wished it was selling more like a record---ba-dum, crash! You want to know lots more about Geology, right? Of course you do. This is how to do it funkily.
The Result Of Continuous Exposure To Radiation has changed the world, if you didn't know. And you most likely wouldn't know, because the change was so subtle and so encompassing that the new world feels so naturally like it is supposed to that no one can now imagine what the old world was like before this record was released. However, built into the record is the map which your unconscious can access to construct the world as it was before, if you choose to be disillusioned with the new world order. Look at the picture of lab rats. Click on it. Then, DNA dares you to listen to it, thereby staring eternity in the face. Horrible, and beautiful. Meaning, eternity is horrible and beautiful, not the record. The record is just rock and roll.
In 2007, the DNA Vibrators recorded their first new album in 12 years. Buy the disc or download the tracks. This is the record that documented the resurrection of the DNA Vibrators, spawned this website, generally made the world a better place, yadda, yadda, yadda. Click the picture below or go to iTunes and type in The DNA Vibrators to own this life affirming album of binary love.
If you would rather have your crappy music free, then click below on the link for the Nightsoil Coolies' album,
"Libertini." The full album and all artwork is available by clicking wherever you want on the martini-drinking libertine in the picture above. You're welcome!
DNA wrote a book! "Twin Rockets Are A Go, Baby!" and it is now officially for sale
DNA's educational side project, The Akkademiks, has been selling like hotcakes on CD Baby and iTunes. DNA wished it was selling more like a record---ba-dum, crash! You want to know lots more about Geology, right? Of course you do. This is how to do it funkily.
The Result Of Continuous Exposure To Radiation has changed the world, if you didn't know. And you most likely wouldn't know, because the change was so subtle and so encompassing that the new world feels so naturally like it is supposed to that no one can now imagine what the old world was like before this record was released. However, built into the record is the map which your unconscious can access to construct the world as it was before, if you choose to be disillusioned with the new world order. Look at the picture of lab rats. Click on it. Then, DNA dares you to listen to it, thereby staring eternity in the face. Horrible, and beautiful. Meaning, eternity is horrible and beautiful, not the record. The record is just rock and roll.
In 2007, the DNA Vibrators recorded their first new album in 12 years. Buy the disc or download the tracks. This is the record that documented the resurrection of the DNA Vibrators, spawned this website, generally made the world a better place, yadda, yadda, yadda. Click the picture below or go to iTunes and type in The DNA Vibrators to own this life affirming album of binary love.
If you would rather have your crappy music free, then click below on the link for the Nightsoil Coolies' album,
"Libertini." The full album and all artwork is available by clicking wherever you want on the martini-drinking libertine in the picture above. You're welcome!
About Me
- The DNA Vibrator
- Just who are the DNA Vibrators? The DNA Vibrators began 14 years ago, when three old bastards, Mr. Kamikaze, H.O.G., and the DNA Vibrator, long time fixtures in several Carbondale, Il and Chicago bands, wanted to play stuff that didn't fit in their other bands. In the summer of 1995, they played one show. That Christmas, they attempted to play another show, but the DNA Vibrator nearly died on the way in a car accident. The show was canceled. In 2005, they played another show, kind of an "old guys" reunion thing. Then, in September of 2006, DNA revived itself like Frankenstein's monster using the electron gun at the back of the CRT it stares at each day, and started this blog and website. DNA was never really gone, just sidetracked for a dozen years or so.
The DNA Vibrator is under no illusions. It is barely functional, well past its prime, an out-of-date innovation even 20 years ago. However, like an oil derrick which keeps pumping in an abandoned oil field, black goo slowly keeps welling up from its pen.
DNA Discography and Band Tree
Band Biography: What do you get when you take three bastards, and let them play the stuff that didn't fit in their other bands? The DNA Vibrators. The DNA Vibrators formed in 1994, played out once in 1995, once in 2005, Once in 2007, once in, August 2008, once in 2011, and a couple of times in 2012. We took a break, then played the Lost Cross 35th Anniversary show in 2021, and have a new show in June of 2022! The DNA Vibrators have currently put out more records than they have played out live. They are living the American Dream.
Timeline:
1987: A band called The Watch, featuring DNA, Mr. Kamikaze, Matt, and Mike. The band died quietly in its sleep one day when no one was Watch-ing. We produced a few solid demos, nothing else.
1988: DNA, Mr. Kamikaze, and The Song Engine get together and form the Nightsoil Coolies. For brevity, most people just referred to us as the Coolies, even though there was another, more popular band called the Coolies. The Coolies added Fish to the lineup in 1990. They played all over the country until the spring of 1991. People graduated from college, moved on. Others sank into depression and got sucked into the Carbondale, IL whirlpool. The Coolies produced several records, including Song Engines, Demockery, Idioddyssey, Tim Our Leader, and a two-disc, posthumous Live at the Hangar 9 record. At their height, they probably had a hundred originals (some of which which did not suck) that they played out regularly.
1991: From the ashes of the Coolies, Satan's Monster Truck, shortened quickly after some ugly confrontations to Monster Truck (people take their references to Satan and Jesus pretty seriously down here) arose. Monster Truck was comprised of DNA, Ralph, the Song Engine, and Fish. Monster Truck played all over the mid-west, and produced three records, 8 Cylinder Baptism, an untitled demo, and a posthumous disc of live recordings from the Hangar 9.
1993: As Monster Truck broke down, CRANK was vehicle which next drove DNA to absurdity. CRANK was formed from DNA, the Reverend, Ralph, and the Hand Of God (H.O.G., for short). CRANK played all over the country, and was producing some shit that was being noticed for awhile. We put out a self-titled record, and untitled record which we made with Kramer, a famous New York indie producer, and finally released a CD, called Garlic, in 1995. Again, we were all at points in our lives in which school, real jobs, and becoming parents all came together. In the resulting crash, CRANK was no more. Since CRANK finished, a 5 disc inclusive set was produced of the band's work.
However, before CRANK disintegrated, DNA, H.O.G., and Mr. Kamikaze ('member him from the beginning of this story?) got together to play some of the stuff DNA was writing that didn't fit the CRANK mold. The result? THE DNA Vibrators. The rest of that story is still unfolding, unfortunately, at a geologic pace. But, DNA is content to let shit happen as it happens. Who knows? Perhaps tomorrow, things will move much faster. And then where would DNA be? Too old to keep up with the young fuckers, that's for sure :D
The DNA Discography:
1994: Twin Rockets Are A Go, Baby!
1996: Unnatural Selection
2005: The (W)Hole Truth (packaged both records and two previously unreleased songs together)
2007: The Shape Of Things To Have Come And Gone
2007: The Result Of Continuous Exposure To Radiation
2007: (as the Akkademiks): The Akkademiks....ROCK!
2007: The Nightsoil Coolies: Libertini (live, restored, 4 track recordings from the spring of 1991)
2008: From Obscurity To Global Domination In Three EASY Steps
Since the song engine is still turning, expect more stuff in 2010.
Mildly Incestuous Band Tree
(click on the picture for the big version)
Timeline:
1987: A band called The Watch, featuring DNA, Mr. Kamikaze, Matt, and Mike. The band died quietly in its sleep one day when no one was Watch-ing. We produced a few solid demos, nothing else.
1988: DNA, Mr. Kamikaze, and The Song Engine get together and form the Nightsoil Coolies. For brevity, most people just referred to us as the Coolies, even though there was another, more popular band called the Coolies. The Coolies added Fish to the lineup in 1990. They played all over the country until the spring of 1991. People graduated from college, moved on. Others sank into depression and got sucked into the Carbondale, IL whirlpool. The Coolies produced several records, including Song Engines, Demockery, Idioddyssey, Tim Our Leader, and a two-disc, posthumous Live at the Hangar 9 record. At their height, they probably had a hundred originals (some of which which did not suck) that they played out regularly.
1991: From the ashes of the Coolies, Satan's Monster Truck, shortened quickly after some ugly confrontations to Monster Truck (people take their references to Satan and Jesus pretty seriously down here) arose. Monster Truck was comprised of DNA, Ralph, the Song Engine, and Fish. Monster Truck played all over the mid-west, and produced three records, 8 Cylinder Baptism, an untitled demo, and a posthumous disc of live recordings from the Hangar 9.
1993: As Monster Truck broke down, CRANK was vehicle which next drove DNA to absurdity. CRANK was formed from DNA, the Reverend, Ralph, and the Hand Of God (H.O.G., for short). CRANK played all over the country, and was producing some shit that was being noticed for awhile. We put out a self-titled record, and untitled record which we made with Kramer, a famous New York indie producer, and finally released a CD, called Garlic, in 1995. Again, we were all at points in our lives in which school, real jobs, and becoming parents all came together. In the resulting crash, CRANK was no more. Since CRANK finished, a 5 disc inclusive set was produced of the band's work.
However, before CRANK disintegrated, DNA, H.O.G., and Mr. Kamikaze ('member him from the beginning of this story?) got together to play some of the stuff DNA was writing that didn't fit the CRANK mold. The result? THE DNA Vibrators. The rest of that story is still unfolding, unfortunately, at a geologic pace. But, DNA is content to let shit happen as it happens. Who knows? Perhaps tomorrow, things will move much faster. And then where would DNA be? Too old to keep up with the young fuckers, that's for sure :D
The DNA Discography:
1994: Twin Rockets Are A Go, Baby!
1996: Unnatural Selection
2005: The (W)Hole Truth (packaged both records and two previously unreleased songs together)
2007: The Shape Of Things To Have Come And Gone
2007: The Result Of Continuous Exposure To Radiation
2007: (as the Akkademiks): The Akkademiks....ROCK!
2007: The Nightsoil Coolies: Libertini (live, restored, 4 track recordings from the spring of 1991)
2008: From Obscurity To Global Domination In Three EASY Steps
Since the song engine is still turning, expect more stuff in 2010.
Mildly Incestuous Band Tree
(click on the picture for the big version)
From the last show at the old Hangar 9 in Carbondale, IL
Notice the halo around the Hand Of God's head? He emits this celestial light all the time!
The DNA Vibrators At The Reach Out For Rosie Benefit
The Debut of Carlito
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